Things are getting a little bit better....
One step at a time and life will return to some form or shape that resembles "normal" for me. Mom was discharged from the Palo Alto Nursing facility on Tuesday. She had a follow up appointment with Dr. Gillon and the toe healing process is looking very good, she may start to remove some stitches next week. She then had a hair appointment, getting herself all ready to return "home" to Woodside Terrace. I am happy to report that mom seems to really like her new apartment. I think she is very happy to be reunited with her "things" and has been working furiously since arriving to unpack knick knacks and put them in place. Yesterday, she asked me to bring a hammer so that she could hang a few little things. She's so proud of herself and her progress in getting her apartment ready. She is cleaning out clothes and shoes so that she doesn't keep anything that she will really never use, so that will free up some much needed space. She is doing a lot of walking to/from the dining room area and the activity room, so she is definitely getting her exercise. In her apartment, she walks around without any assistance. It's really quite amazing. Today her leg and foot were a bit swollen- not terribly, but enough to notice so I called her Doctor and she advised to try the water pills that we had on hand and give it the weekend to see how it goes- if it's still swollen on Monday, then they will want to see her I suppose. I am hoping that it's just some water build up from being on her feet for so much all of a sudden. Gosh, hate to tell her to slow down when she is having so much fun doing things.
We met her neighbor across the hall, a very nice woman by the name of Marianne. She is probably a few years younger than my mom- but she goes to St Pius and goes to the Senior Center. I think that she and mom could become good friends. I think mom is now starting to feel more at home with the activities and seeing that there are some very independent people at Woodside Terrace and she is one of them. All in all, it is going well for her at this point and I hope and pray that this continues.
My brother is hanging in there, he still has not definitive word on when he'll get his money from the house sale, so until he knows when and how much, he remains in limbo not really knowing what the next step will be. He is looking at options and seeing what his best plan will be once that is determined, but damn the guy has just had so many hits- it's about time for things to really start turning around for him! Winning the lottery about now would be a very good thing! We are all living pretty well under one roof right now. Dealing with some neighbors who are a bit upset that parking is hard to come by in the "guest spots" because many residents are not following the parking rules- well we are breaking the rules by taking up 3 spots at night- but I've really had the mind set of "I really don't give a shit" because I have followed the rules for 10 years and watched many abusers over the years - this is an exception, it's not forever, it's a temporary thing. At some point, we'll have to do something different - but like I said, I'm not the first nor will I be the last to break parking laws around good old Kentfield Manor. Bottom line, nobody is going to enforce the rules- and paying someone to do it is not a responsible choice. We are definitely at a shortage for parking around here, so what you going to do when you can't get parking on the street, but there is a vacant guest slot? Easy decision. Just one more reason as to why we need to get the heck out of here and build our own house someplace. Tired of all the HOA bullshit!
Life has been super busy the past couple of weeks. We had an amazing time in Vegas this past weekend with Jamie, Jacqui, Michael & Patrick. Lots of fun, great weather- quality pool time. I was a happy girl. I think Bill had a good birthday as well! Work has been busy and I have been subbing a lot of classes at the gym. Getting ready to launch Body Pump 82 tomorrow at Gold's and Sunday at the JCC...I think I'm ready and it's a great release. I'm already sore thinking about it! I will be crippled by next weekend- I can't even count, but other than the 4th of July, I am teaching Body Pump everyday through next Saturday! I think it's some crazy 9 classes in 7 days! Sucks that PAC has not launched the new releases, so when I sub there this week I'm going to have to pull out older choreography from the memory banks. That should be fun!
Anyway, off to bed so I can dream of Body Pump music. If I can get up early I plan to go to 24 Hour Fitness in Sunnyvale to take pictures of my friends launching Body Pump 82 on a huge stage to a room of 100 participants. Kristy & Orna are team teaching with the one and only Steven Renata, I have to say that I am a bit jealous. It really sucks that 24 hour is getting all of these Les Mills formats and that I am not employed there anymore. It is where I started with Body Pump 12 years ago and I left because of inadequate pay, lack of raises after many requests and it didn't help matters that they had dropped Body Pump after having been with the club for about 3 years! I was devastated and back then there simply were no clubs nearby with Body Pump. Interesting how things work out.
Ok- time for zzzzzzzzzzz's
Saturday, June 30, 2012
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
Missing my Daddy!
Today was Dad's birthday, he would have been 83 years old and it is sad that he was taken from us at the very young age of 60, to think that he will have been gone 23 years in September just blows my mind. He certainly fought a good fight, but just had to fight it at such a young age, especially when you compare him to my mom who has pretty much been in excellent health until the last two years and she is quite the fighter. It makes me proud to know that I come from such strong, feisty genes!
When picking my Giants game this season, like always I try to get weekend games first and then if I have to get weeknight games it has to be nights that I don't teach at the gym and then I'll usually get 1-2 day games because after all, it's fun to play hooky every now and then and spend a workday afternoon at the ballpark! Well, knowing June 13th was my Dad's birthday, the Giants were in town and it was a Wednesday night, one that I don't teach, I had to get those tickets. I took my brother with me tonight, which is also fitting because I know that Dad has been proud over the years to look down and see us at so many Giants games, following his footsteps so to speak. I have always said that once Pac Bell Park was built (yes, it is always Pac Bell to me, although I can sort of grasp AT&T park, never grabbed SBC park), but I have always felt my Dad's presence at the ballpark. I actually had tears the first time I was at the park because I just knew that my dad would have loved that place and he would have loved to see his team playing there.
I grew up going to Giants games with my Dad on weekends and holidays- we sat 3 rows behind home plate and I got to meet many players over the years. I was a true fan from that young age, loved my Giants through thick and thin. I have been riding the highs for the last decade at Pac Bell park with all of the Barry Bonds milestones, the World Series in 2002 and then the World Series in 2010 and tonight adding to the excitement- Franchise History in the making, Matt Cain pitches a no-hitter, a perfect game- no hits, no walks, no errors- NADA, NOTHING, PERFECTO! He had 14 strike-outs, a new personal best for him surpassing his previous best of 13, it was pure excitement in the ballpark tonight. Also, some great DEFENSE on the field as well, an amazing catch by Right-fielder, Gregor Blanco- diving catch in Triples Alley- a place where very few balls are caught- such excitement. We won the game 10-0, every inning was packed with great, perfect playing baseball. I am once again on a GIANTS high, but really must get to bed and sleep for an early day tomorrow.
I really do feel that my dad was watching down from Heaven tonight, he was there at Pac Bell, he was a part of this day in Baseball History! Big week for our family...June 10th my Anniversary, June 13th Dad's Birthday, June 14th Mom & Dad's Anniversary- this year would have been 60 years! Of course, this week of the year always included Father's Day as well!
Today was Dad's birthday, he would have been 83 years old and it is sad that he was taken from us at the very young age of 60, to think that he will have been gone 23 years in September just blows my mind. He certainly fought a good fight, but just had to fight it at such a young age, especially when you compare him to my mom who has pretty much been in excellent health until the last two years and she is quite the fighter. It makes me proud to know that I come from such strong, feisty genes!
When picking my Giants game this season, like always I try to get weekend games first and then if I have to get weeknight games it has to be nights that I don't teach at the gym and then I'll usually get 1-2 day games because after all, it's fun to play hooky every now and then and spend a workday afternoon at the ballpark! Well, knowing June 13th was my Dad's birthday, the Giants were in town and it was a Wednesday night, one that I don't teach, I had to get those tickets. I took my brother with me tonight, which is also fitting because I know that Dad has been proud over the years to look down and see us at so many Giants games, following his footsteps so to speak. I have always said that once Pac Bell Park was built (yes, it is always Pac Bell to me, although I can sort of grasp AT&T park, never grabbed SBC park), but I have always felt my Dad's presence at the ballpark. I actually had tears the first time I was at the park because I just knew that my dad would have loved that place and he would have loved to see his team playing there.
I grew up going to Giants games with my Dad on weekends and holidays- we sat 3 rows behind home plate and I got to meet many players over the years. I was a true fan from that young age, loved my Giants through thick and thin. I have been riding the highs for the last decade at Pac Bell park with all of the Barry Bonds milestones, the World Series in 2002 and then the World Series in 2010 and tonight adding to the excitement- Franchise History in the making, Matt Cain pitches a no-hitter, a perfect game- no hits, no walks, no errors- NADA, NOTHING, PERFECTO! He had 14 strike-outs, a new personal best for him surpassing his previous best of 13, it was pure excitement in the ballpark tonight. Also, some great DEFENSE on the field as well, an amazing catch by Right-fielder, Gregor Blanco- diving catch in Triples Alley- a place where very few balls are caught- such excitement. We won the game 10-0, every inning was packed with great, perfect playing baseball. I am once again on a GIANTS high, but really must get to bed and sleep for an early day tomorrow.
I really do feel that my dad was watching down from Heaven tonight, he was there at Pac Bell, he was a part of this day in Baseball History! Big week for our family...June 10th my Anniversary, June 13th Dad's Birthday, June 14th Mom & Dad's Anniversary- this year would have been 60 years! Of course, this week of the year always included Father's Day as well!
Monday, June 11, 2012
And then there were 9...
9 toes that is! My mom is now officially a toe amputee. They did the surgery yesterday and as promised I received a phone call from mom's Doctor as soon as it was over- during our Anniversary Brunch at the Westin Verasa in Napa. She told me that all went well and that mom was in recovery and for me to go on and enjoy the rest of the day and celebrate. We did just that. I will say though that I felt very comfortable going away, knowing that my mom was having surgery and I can only believe that my comfort was a direct result of the fabulous care that she is under with Dr. Gillon. This woman has taken mom under her wings. In an email exchange, she says to me "I have grown very fond of your mother and admire how feisty and determined she
is to get through this. You too deserve much credit. I have taken care of
elderly people with vascular problems for decades now and it is rare that a
family is so involved and so caring. " My mom tells me today that just before the surgery, Dr. Gillon gave her a hug and a sweet kiss on the cheek. I have seen so many Doctors over the past few years and many have lacked a true bedside manner, many have lacked the "people" touch - it is so wonderful to have a Doctor like her involved in mom's case. I believe it has made the world of difference for mom.
I knew that my mom would be resting most of yesterday, so I didn't call- I didn't want to disturb her if she was sleeping and did expect her to be "out of it" with the pain meds. My sister texted me about 6pm to let me know that mom had called her and that she was very alert and talkative and was doing well. She was a bit upset that she had two black eyes- but Dr. Gillon had told me that even though they removed the tape from her eyes (to keep them shut), she bruises easy and would look like a raccoon for a few days. My mother was in shock when she saw herself in the mirror. Once she got the explanation, she was ok.
Bill & I went to visit her on our way home this afternoon and she was doing pretty good. She has started having "phantom pains"- which from what I've read can be pretty nasty and disturbing. Once I explained to her what it was, she was a bit relieved to know what it was. It had sort of freaked her out and sent her to tears the first time she felt the pains. I hope that these phantom pains go away quickly, I'm sure it is a weird sensation to feel a pain where your toe used to be.
I believe the Doctor will change her dressings tomorrow and take a look at it. Probably get her up to walking a tiny bit in the next 2-3 days. Hopefully, we are at the end of the medical trials and tribulations and mom can move forward with her life and start to enjoy and LIVE!
Bill & I had a wonderful Anniversary Weekend. Arrived at our hotel Saturday night close to 8pm, checked in and ordered room service dinner, enjoyed a bottle of wine with a movie on TV, cuddled up on the couch. (we had a suite) We slept in Sunday, got up for brunch and then lounged by the pool all afternoon. I did a little "work"- although I don't consider Body Pump "work"- I listened to my new music for the next release and reviewed the current release so I can teach it this week in preparation for AIM 1 workshop! We boarded the Napa Valley Wine Train Sunday evening and fortunately did get our upgrade to the Vista Dome car, which was wonderful. It was a beautiful train ride, great meal- fun times! Today we slept in a bit, headed into Yountville for lunch at Bouchon, and then stopped by Daniela's parents new place in Yountville and had a very nice visit with them. All in all a pretty great weekend. God is good.
I knew that my mom would be resting most of yesterday, so I didn't call- I didn't want to disturb her if she was sleeping and did expect her to be "out of it" with the pain meds. My sister texted me about 6pm to let me know that mom had called her and that she was very alert and talkative and was doing well. She was a bit upset that she had two black eyes- but Dr. Gillon had told me that even though they removed the tape from her eyes (to keep them shut), she bruises easy and would look like a raccoon for a few days. My mother was in shock when she saw herself in the mirror. Once she got the explanation, she was ok.
Bill & I went to visit her on our way home this afternoon and she was doing pretty good. She has started having "phantom pains"- which from what I've read can be pretty nasty and disturbing. Once I explained to her what it was, she was a bit relieved to know what it was. It had sort of freaked her out and sent her to tears the first time she felt the pains. I hope that these phantom pains go away quickly, I'm sure it is a weird sensation to feel a pain where your toe used to be.
I believe the Doctor will change her dressings tomorrow and take a look at it. Probably get her up to walking a tiny bit in the next 2-3 days. Hopefully, we are at the end of the medical trials and tribulations and mom can move forward with her life and start to enjoy and LIVE!
Bill & I had a wonderful Anniversary Weekend. Arrived at our hotel Saturday night close to 8pm, checked in and ordered room service dinner, enjoyed a bottle of wine with a movie on TV, cuddled up on the couch. (we had a suite) We slept in Sunday, got up for brunch and then lounged by the pool all afternoon. I did a little "work"- although I don't consider Body Pump "work"- I listened to my new music for the next release and reviewed the current release so I can teach it this week in preparation for AIM 1 workshop! We boarded the Napa Valley Wine Train Sunday evening and fortunately did get our upgrade to the Vista Dome car, which was wonderful. It was a beautiful train ride, great meal- fun times! Today we slept in a bit, headed into Yountville for lunch at Bouchon, and then stopped by Daniela's parents new place in Yountville and had a very nice visit with them. All in all a pretty great weekend. God is good.
Saturday, June 09, 2012
Graduations, Anniversaries & Surgeries...oh MY!
This week has been absolutely OFF THE HOOK! I am beyond exhausted- that seems to be a recurring theme that I write about, need to do something about that! I have spent the last few days helping my brother move, it has been very emotional for all of us- so hard to pack up 25 years of your life! I can only say that I have such a huge respect for my brother, he has been through so much yet still remains faithful and keeps on keepin' on. So many people would just give up or turn to dark measures if they were in his shoes. He has raised to wonderful young men...more on this later in the blog. The other night while packing and wondering if it would ever get done, he had a sentimental moment and was so grateful for his two sons. He is so proud of them and it just came shining through in our conversation. I'm sure along with the move and all the emotions involved with that, the fact that his first born, eldest son graduated today from High School was also cause for sentiment.
Last night when we all made another trip to his house to pack up another load, close to the last load, the new owners were there to receive the keys. The very ironic thing in all of this something that I just realized earlier this week is that the new owner is a gal I graduated with from Mercy High School. In fact, I attended her first wedding in the 80's! I had lost complete tough with her over the years and it was nice to see her and reunite, yet also bittersweet because although a "buyer" for my brother's house is not a bad thing- you do sort of feel like there is a victim and a villain in the situation. Hard to really explain, but it was a bit awkward. I mean it would be nice to get to know each other better again and perhaps do things socially- but it would be really weird to be invited to her house for dinner or a pool party! Just strange the way the world turns!
Today was Michael's graduation and I teared up multiple times. I am so proud of him and the man that he has become. It has not been easy on him or his brother with all this moving and transition, but he keeps on, just like his dad. In 19 years, I've only seen him lose his cool once and that was two weeks ago with all the pressure surrounding the family move. He looked so grown up today and spiffy in his dress clothes. As tired as we all were having dinner at 1am last night and ready for bed, "Uncle Bill" stayed up late enough to iron Michael's dress shirt and graduation gown. Michael looked awesome and so nicely put together. I got some great pictures of him- which thrilled me and afterwards when we caught up with him, I went to give him a congratulations hug and he really hugged back. I've hugged him many times over the years for all sorts of holidays and events, but this hug back was different- it was the hug of a mature, grown up man. Although the words were not spoken, I felt as though his hug said, "thank you for all you've done for me"- I just can't explain it any better than that- but really a very proud day for this Auntie. And it didn't end there. At lunch, my sister asked Michael if he wanted to go see his Grandmother at the hospital and he said he would- so she took him and he thought it would be a nice idea to give his Grammy his Graduation Flower Lei. She was in tears at the "gift" and the fact that it was his idea just warms my heart.
Sunday is our Anniversary, 6 years married and 8 years together. Time flies- although I feel as though I have been married to this wonderful man all my life! He has been so supportive, so loving, so caring, so giving - I often times wonder what I did to deserve him and am so incredibly thankful to have him in my life, that he loves me and has chosen me for his life partner. He's amazing. We will be taking off to Napa Sunday morning, maybe Saturday afternoon if I can get the hotel to give us the Agent rate for Saturday night- a near impossible thing in a popular destination..but I will try, I'd love to get away for 2 nights and be able to really enjoy the resort. We plan to get some pool time, work on the suntans, and then enjoy the Napa Valley Wine Train! This will be a lot of fun; however, a bit overshadowed by the fact that we learned today that mom will have Surgery on Sunday!
Yes, surgery for mom. They had tentatively scheduled her for the toe amputation on Wednesday and wanted to treat her with antibiotics until then and have surgery be the last resort. However, the discharge people and medicare people won't allow her to stay until Wednesday with the treatment plan in place. They feel it could be out-patient treatment, so given that it was a "miracle shot"- they decided to move the surgery up to Sunday and take care of the toe. Her Doctor has been fabulous and wonderfully communicative. In fact today's email from Dr. Gillon told me that "they" (she and my mom) do not want me anywhere near the hospital on Sunday, that I need to celebrate my Anniversary with my husband and that mom will be just fine. I am trying to trust in this, with any surgery there is risk and with any surgery on an 83 year old there is even more risk - even on the healthiest of people! But I will trust that it will all go fine and enjoy my time away- after all I have been ordered to do so by my mom and her Doctor! I hope that this is it, that this surgery will go smoothly and that she adapts well and quickly to the 4 toed foot. Today she was telling several jokes- all in an effort to keep herself laughing and she spoke of her mother when she had gall bladder surgery and how her mother had asked the Doctor if she could have a stone to keep and did keep one in a jar. I just looked at my mom because I just knew where she was going with this...and then she laughed and said she wasn't going to ask the Doctor, but she thought her toe in a jar might be a good conversation piece! Yes, she has officially "lost it"- but I get trying to make light of a very difficult situation. She is still grieving not being able to ever wear sandals again, of course she has not worn sandals in 10+ years!
June- WOW...can't believe we are 1/2 way through 2012!! Where does the time go?
This week has been absolutely OFF THE HOOK! I am beyond exhausted- that seems to be a recurring theme that I write about, need to do something about that! I have spent the last few days helping my brother move, it has been very emotional for all of us- so hard to pack up 25 years of your life! I can only say that I have such a huge respect for my brother, he has been through so much yet still remains faithful and keeps on keepin' on. So many people would just give up or turn to dark measures if they were in his shoes. He has raised to wonderful young men...more on this later in the blog. The other night while packing and wondering if it would ever get done, he had a sentimental moment and was so grateful for his two sons. He is so proud of them and it just came shining through in our conversation. I'm sure along with the move and all the emotions involved with that, the fact that his first born, eldest son graduated today from High School was also cause for sentiment.
Last night when we all made another trip to his house to pack up another load, close to the last load, the new owners were there to receive the keys. The very ironic thing in all of this something that I just realized earlier this week is that the new owner is a gal I graduated with from Mercy High School. In fact, I attended her first wedding in the 80's! I had lost complete tough with her over the years and it was nice to see her and reunite, yet also bittersweet because although a "buyer" for my brother's house is not a bad thing- you do sort of feel like there is a victim and a villain in the situation. Hard to really explain, but it was a bit awkward. I mean it would be nice to get to know each other better again and perhaps do things socially- but it would be really weird to be invited to her house for dinner or a pool party! Just strange the way the world turns!
Today was Michael's graduation and I teared up multiple times. I am so proud of him and the man that he has become. It has not been easy on him or his brother with all this moving and transition, but he keeps on, just like his dad. In 19 years, I've only seen him lose his cool once and that was two weeks ago with all the pressure surrounding the family move. He looked so grown up today and spiffy in his dress clothes. As tired as we all were having dinner at 1am last night and ready for bed, "Uncle Bill" stayed up late enough to iron Michael's dress shirt and graduation gown. Michael looked awesome and so nicely put together. I got some great pictures of him- which thrilled me and afterwards when we caught up with him, I went to give him a congratulations hug and he really hugged back. I've hugged him many times over the years for all sorts of holidays and events, but this hug back was different- it was the hug of a mature, grown up man. Although the words were not spoken, I felt as though his hug said, "thank you for all you've done for me"- I just can't explain it any better than that- but really a very proud day for this Auntie. And it didn't end there. At lunch, my sister asked Michael if he wanted to go see his Grandmother at the hospital and he said he would- so she took him and he thought it would be a nice idea to give his Grammy his Graduation Flower Lei. She was in tears at the "gift" and the fact that it was his idea just warms my heart.
Sunday is our Anniversary, 6 years married and 8 years together. Time flies- although I feel as though I have been married to this wonderful man all my life! He has been so supportive, so loving, so caring, so giving - I often times wonder what I did to deserve him and am so incredibly thankful to have him in my life, that he loves me and has chosen me for his life partner. He's amazing. We will be taking off to Napa Sunday morning, maybe Saturday afternoon if I can get the hotel to give us the Agent rate for Saturday night- a near impossible thing in a popular destination..but I will try, I'd love to get away for 2 nights and be able to really enjoy the resort. We plan to get some pool time, work on the suntans, and then enjoy the Napa Valley Wine Train! This will be a lot of fun; however, a bit overshadowed by the fact that we learned today that mom will have Surgery on Sunday!
Yes, surgery for mom. They had tentatively scheduled her for the toe amputation on Wednesday and wanted to treat her with antibiotics until then and have surgery be the last resort. However, the discharge people and medicare people won't allow her to stay until Wednesday with the treatment plan in place. They feel it could be out-patient treatment, so given that it was a "miracle shot"- they decided to move the surgery up to Sunday and take care of the toe. Her Doctor has been fabulous and wonderfully communicative. In fact today's email from Dr. Gillon told me that "they" (she and my mom) do not want me anywhere near the hospital on Sunday, that I need to celebrate my Anniversary with my husband and that mom will be just fine. I am trying to trust in this, with any surgery there is risk and with any surgery on an 83 year old there is even more risk - even on the healthiest of people! But I will trust that it will all go fine and enjoy my time away- after all I have been ordered to do so by my mom and her Doctor! I hope that this is it, that this surgery will go smoothly and that she adapts well and quickly to the 4 toed foot. Today she was telling several jokes- all in an effort to keep herself laughing and she spoke of her mother when she had gall bladder surgery and how her mother had asked the Doctor if she could have a stone to keep and did keep one in a jar. I just looked at my mom because I just knew where she was going with this...and then she laughed and said she wasn't going to ask the Doctor, but she thought her toe in a jar might be a good conversation piece! Yes, she has officially "lost it"- but I get trying to make light of a very difficult situation. She is still grieving not being able to ever wear sandals again, of course she has not worn sandals in 10+ years!
June- WOW...can't believe we are 1/2 way through 2012!! Where does the time go?
Wednesday, June 06, 2012
Bring on 2013 already!
I was chatting with my friend Elizabeth the other night and we have both had very trying 2012's already and were both feeling like we are ready for 2013. I honestly do not know how it is already June. It is just so crazy, but I find myself trying to visualize Thanksgiving and Christmas 2012 and what I am picturing is: health for my entire family- that my mom's horrible and long health ordeal this year is over and she is back to enjoying life and living life, the my brother is able to get the surgery that he needs and can be out of pain that he's been dealing with for 6+ months. Stability for my brother and his family- now having sold their house and have that behind them, that they will be able to rebuild a new life and get back on their feet. He has great dreams and we will know soon how those dreams will unfold- much will depend on the outcome of the bankruptcy. For now, he and his family will be living with us until he gets his money from the house sale and can move forward with his plan. On one hand, this is a HUGE adjustment for Bill & I- we are so used to living alone and having full run of the house, but it has got to be so much worse for my brother and nephews to adjust to not having full run of a house. Yes, they know that "mi casa, su casa"- but still it's just not the same. I am hoping that we can have some fun with this, gosh I have not lived with my brother since I was 9 or 10 years old? Ok- now that I put that on paper, I am officially scared!
Tonight when I went by Woodside Terrace to pick up a few things for my mom, Marguerite at the front desk said to me, "you are the glue in your family, aren't you?" - I probably talk too much about my life to people, but it is who I am. But she is right, in many ways I am the glue and I do take care of things, it is my nature. I am a fixer, I am a doer- we all have our roles in life. So many people have said how much they "admire me" or that "I'm a bigger person than they are" or that "there is no way I could do what you're doing", but I honestly believe that we all have no idea what we are capable of doing until we are put into a situation of having to do it! You just do it, when it comes to family there are no excuses you make it work.
Today was an insane day...up early, helped brother pack up the house- as much as we could, there is still much that needs to get done tomorrow. Made two trips to my house with things that were coming here. Picked up one nephew from school after his finals, had an appraiser come by my house and hopefully she will get a good value in so we can refinance. Did a tiny bit of work and then out the door I went to go by mom's apartment, then to Kohl's to look (very quickly) for an outfit that Michael could wear tonight to the awards assembly. The kid just didn't have anything between the suit and the cargo pants and I felt that he needed to be a bit more dressed up than that. I got lucky and found some pants in his size and a shirt- he liked it and they fit! After 20 minutes in Kohl's I was to the hospital for a "drive-by" to bring mom a few things and then back home for dinner, Bill ironed Michael's new clothes and we were off to the Awards Assembly. That was the first time that I really sat down today! Michael received two awards and it was a very nice event.
Mom had a pretty good day today- although she it not feeling warm and fuzzy about her Primary Care Physician. But mom is standing firm that she wants to do what her specialist wants her to do- the PCP is new and doesn't have that relationship with mom that Dr. Gillon has. Right now the plan is that they are giving her antibiotics through IV and orally to treat the toe and if there is no significant progress by 6/13- they will amputate the big toe. Mom is adjusting to the idea and trusts Dr. Gillon impeccably. We will see. Dr. Gonzalez (PCP) was talking about sending mom home and having her come to the hospital everyday for injections, but mom doesn't want to leave the hospital. Strange- usually Doctors don't push sending you home, it's usually the case workers/insurance companies that do that!
Anyway, really tired and must get up early tomorrow for an 8am meeting, will get some work done and will then probably help a good portion of the day with packing/moving etc. Still a lot of crap that needs to get moved- it's 25 years of stuff, both personal and business- not easy at all!
I will continue to pray for things to get better for everyone and for this year to take a turn up and only positive things from here on out. It is just a really emotionally draining year thus far and at this pace, I'm ready for 2013 in a big way!
I was chatting with my friend Elizabeth the other night and we have both had very trying 2012's already and were both feeling like we are ready for 2013. I honestly do not know how it is already June. It is just so crazy, but I find myself trying to visualize Thanksgiving and Christmas 2012 and what I am picturing is: health for my entire family- that my mom's horrible and long health ordeal this year is over and she is back to enjoying life and living life, the my brother is able to get the surgery that he needs and can be out of pain that he's been dealing with for 6+ months. Stability for my brother and his family- now having sold their house and have that behind them, that they will be able to rebuild a new life and get back on their feet. He has great dreams and we will know soon how those dreams will unfold- much will depend on the outcome of the bankruptcy. For now, he and his family will be living with us until he gets his money from the house sale and can move forward with his plan. On one hand, this is a HUGE adjustment for Bill & I- we are so used to living alone and having full run of the house, but it has got to be so much worse for my brother and nephews to adjust to not having full run of a house. Yes, they know that "mi casa, su casa"- but still it's just not the same. I am hoping that we can have some fun with this, gosh I have not lived with my brother since I was 9 or 10 years old? Ok- now that I put that on paper, I am officially scared!
Tonight when I went by Woodside Terrace to pick up a few things for my mom, Marguerite at the front desk said to me, "you are the glue in your family, aren't you?" - I probably talk too much about my life to people, but it is who I am. But she is right, in many ways I am the glue and I do take care of things, it is my nature. I am a fixer, I am a doer- we all have our roles in life. So many people have said how much they "admire me" or that "I'm a bigger person than they are" or that "there is no way I could do what you're doing", but I honestly believe that we all have no idea what we are capable of doing until we are put into a situation of having to do it! You just do it, when it comes to family there are no excuses you make it work.
Today was an insane day...up early, helped brother pack up the house- as much as we could, there is still much that needs to get done tomorrow. Made two trips to my house with things that were coming here. Picked up one nephew from school after his finals, had an appraiser come by my house and hopefully she will get a good value in so we can refinance. Did a tiny bit of work and then out the door I went to go by mom's apartment, then to Kohl's to look (very quickly) for an outfit that Michael could wear tonight to the awards assembly. The kid just didn't have anything between the suit and the cargo pants and I felt that he needed to be a bit more dressed up than that. I got lucky and found some pants in his size and a shirt- he liked it and they fit! After 20 minutes in Kohl's I was to the hospital for a "drive-by" to bring mom a few things and then back home for dinner, Bill ironed Michael's new clothes and we were off to the Awards Assembly. That was the first time that I really sat down today! Michael received two awards and it was a very nice event.
Mom had a pretty good day today- although she it not feeling warm and fuzzy about her Primary Care Physician. But mom is standing firm that she wants to do what her specialist wants her to do- the PCP is new and doesn't have that relationship with mom that Dr. Gillon has. Right now the plan is that they are giving her antibiotics through IV and orally to treat the toe and if there is no significant progress by 6/13- they will amputate the big toe. Mom is adjusting to the idea and trusts Dr. Gillon impeccably. We will see. Dr. Gonzalez (PCP) was talking about sending mom home and having her come to the hospital everyday for injections, but mom doesn't want to leave the hospital. Strange- usually Doctors don't push sending you home, it's usually the case workers/insurance companies that do that!
Anyway, really tired and must get up early tomorrow for an 8am meeting, will get some work done and will then probably help a good portion of the day with packing/moving etc. Still a lot of crap that needs to get moved- it's 25 years of stuff, both personal and business- not easy at all!
I will continue to pray for things to get better for everyone and for this year to take a turn up and only positive things from here on out. It is just a really emotionally draining year thus far and at this pace, I'm ready for 2013 in a big way!
Sunday, June 03, 2012
..and yet another setback!
I just wonder when my mom is going to catch a break! Seriously, this health drama has gone on long enough. I know she is frustrated, disgusted and tired of the bull! Honestly, so am I! You just don't realize how much of a toll all of this takes on you while you're going through it until you have a bit of a reprieve and then it hits you when you're back in the bull once again! Mom had another setback on Saturday- she had issues with diarrhea Saturday early morning, then her blood pressure was very low- the nurses at Woodside Terrace monitored her and said that her blood pressure remained low. They called me. I was all the way out in Livermore and had to leave the girls day of fun early to take mom to the ER. They did admit her, mainly because blood work showed some sort of infection, which we know she has the toe infection- still waiting to see if that is all she has; however, today they did confirm that she has C-Diff once again! Really? I have no idea how one can continue to catch this awful infection over and over again. It's so unfair! Of course, we know that long term antibiotic use is usually a trigger and she has been on them for a long time, if not one form, then another. They are now treating her with the Vancomycin both orally for the stomach and IV for the foot. Hopefully, we will have more news tomorrow when everyone works at the hospital and we can talk to Doctors.
She was looking so forward to this weekend, especially to today. Her plans included going to church, then bingo at the Senior Center and then BBQ at our house for her Grandson's birthday. She had to miss all of that- it's just really unfair. Why do bad things happen to good people? Why do good people have to suffer? Of course, now she is so afraid that she won't ever be independent again if she is going to have this C-diff returning all the time. How horrible for her...for all of us. It's so hard to try to keep someone optimistic when even you have a hard time being optimistic. Tomorrow I am going to bring her leftovers from the BBQ for lunch, she is looking forward to that.
Our weekend, otherwise was very fun and action packed. So much that I am exhausted and plan to get to bed here in the next 30 minutes- tops! Yes, before midnight! I had no desire to get up and out of bed this morning and it was really a push to get moving and go shopping for BBQ needs! I am blessed to have such a wonderful husband who helps with everything. "Team Horst" as my friend Mary calls it. We shopped together, at times splitting up in the store to save time and then he prepped food while I went to visit mom and bring her stuff, then once I returned we got the dining room table prepared and set for company. He did most of the cooking with the help of our Brother-in-Law who is helplessly drawn to any Bar-B-Que, he just can't help himself. He really is "grill master Bill"- but his name is Roger. :) My brother did his part at the end of the meal and served up the cake for his son and my sister did her part by making salads and cutting up the ribs. A "TEAM" effort all the way through.
It was a very fun weekend with two great concerts Thursday and Friday nights. Saturday fun Body Pump class with a full house, then Bocce Ball, wine, lunch and great gal pals in Livermore. Bill had a fun "boys day" in SF with his buddy Joe at the Giants game with lunch before and dinner out after...very eventful!! No wonder I'm tired!
Looking ahead to a busy week, hopefully a productive week for work- much to get done and it's a short work week for me with Michael's graduation Friday and next week is a short week since Bill & I are taking Monday off for our Anniversary! I absolutely LOVE how we really take time to celebrate our Anniversary- we make is a very special day- as it should be! I can't even begin to say how excited I am to get away next weekend to Napa with him, even though it's just one night- we are going to have such a great time celebrating 6 years of marriage and 8 years of being together! Looks like I won't need to take mom to her two Doctor appointments this week - sadly. But there will be daily visits to the hospital to try to keep her spirits up. Given the C-diff, I'm guessing she is there for at least a few days- and I hope that they make progress on her toe infection, enough to determine if they will be able to save it and honestly if they don't think they can save it, then maybe now is the time to take care of that so she can put all this medical crap behind her and get back to normal!
So off I go, to bed- going to start this week off on the right foot with lots of rest!
I just wonder when my mom is going to catch a break! Seriously, this health drama has gone on long enough. I know she is frustrated, disgusted and tired of the bull! Honestly, so am I! You just don't realize how much of a toll all of this takes on you while you're going through it until you have a bit of a reprieve and then it hits you when you're back in the bull once again! Mom had another setback on Saturday- she had issues with diarrhea Saturday early morning, then her blood pressure was very low- the nurses at Woodside Terrace monitored her and said that her blood pressure remained low. They called me. I was all the way out in Livermore and had to leave the girls day of fun early to take mom to the ER. They did admit her, mainly because blood work showed some sort of infection, which we know she has the toe infection- still waiting to see if that is all she has; however, today they did confirm that she has C-Diff once again! Really? I have no idea how one can continue to catch this awful infection over and over again. It's so unfair! Of course, we know that long term antibiotic use is usually a trigger and she has been on them for a long time, if not one form, then another. They are now treating her with the Vancomycin both orally for the stomach and IV for the foot. Hopefully, we will have more news tomorrow when everyone works at the hospital and we can talk to Doctors.
She was looking so forward to this weekend, especially to today. Her plans included going to church, then bingo at the Senior Center and then BBQ at our house for her Grandson's birthday. She had to miss all of that- it's just really unfair. Why do bad things happen to good people? Why do good people have to suffer? Of course, now she is so afraid that she won't ever be independent again if she is going to have this C-diff returning all the time. How horrible for her...for all of us. It's so hard to try to keep someone optimistic when even you have a hard time being optimistic. Tomorrow I am going to bring her leftovers from the BBQ for lunch, she is looking forward to that.
Our weekend, otherwise was very fun and action packed. So much that I am exhausted and plan to get to bed here in the next 30 minutes- tops! Yes, before midnight! I had no desire to get up and out of bed this morning and it was really a push to get moving and go shopping for BBQ needs! I am blessed to have such a wonderful husband who helps with everything. "Team Horst" as my friend Mary calls it. We shopped together, at times splitting up in the store to save time and then he prepped food while I went to visit mom and bring her stuff, then once I returned we got the dining room table prepared and set for company. He did most of the cooking with the help of our Brother-in-Law who is helplessly drawn to any Bar-B-Que, he just can't help himself. He really is "grill master Bill"- but his name is Roger. :) My brother did his part at the end of the meal and served up the cake for his son and my sister did her part by making salads and cutting up the ribs. A "TEAM" effort all the way through.
It was a very fun weekend with two great concerts Thursday and Friday nights. Saturday fun Body Pump class with a full house, then Bocce Ball, wine, lunch and great gal pals in Livermore. Bill had a fun "boys day" in SF with his buddy Joe at the Giants game with lunch before and dinner out after...very eventful!! No wonder I'm tired!
Looking ahead to a busy week, hopefully a productive week for work- much to get done and it's a short work week for me with Michael's graduation Friday and next week is a short week since Bill & I are taking Monday off for our Anniversary! I absolutely LOVE how we really take time to celebrate our Anniversary- we make is a very special day- as it should be! I can't even begin to say how excited I am to get away next weekend to Napa with him, even though it's just one night- we are going to have such a great time celebrating 6 years of marriage and 8 years of being together! Looks like I won't need to take mom to her two Doctor appointments this week - sadly. But there will be daily visits to the hospital to try to keep her spirits up. Given the C-diff, I'm guessing she is there for at least a few days- and I hope that they make progress on her toe infection, enough to determine if they will be able to save it and honestly if they don't think they can save it, then maybe now is the time to take care of that so she can put all this medical crap behind her and get back to normal!
So off I go, to bed- going to start this week off on the right foot with lots of rest!
Thursday, May 31, 2012
My left foot!
Yesterday I had the MRI on my foot, today I met with the Doctor for the results. It seems that I have a degenerative ligament. As for treatment, he modified my inserts, gave me some pads for my other shoes that the inserts don't fit - like my flip flops and dance boots. He wants me to go to Physical Therapy twice a week for four weeks and see if they can strengthen the other ligaments in my foot so that this degenerative one is not further damaged. He seems to think that surgery is inevitable and that it's just a question of when. I'm not a fan of any surgery, so I will try whatever I need to and hopefully get my foot back to normal or at least get rid of the pain. The Doctor also suggested that I try the Sketchers Shape Up shoes because they will alleviate the pressure on my toes, it's the action of flexing my foot that hurts the most. So even though I think the shoes are mostly ugly and that there have been a lot of negative press on them, I ordered a pair tonight. Again, whatever it takes for my foot to heal!
I said a few weeks ago that I was finally taking care of me and this was part of it, but I don't want to experience set backs. I am getting into a groove with fitness again, I'm feeling weight starting to fall off again. I taught two Spin classes and one Body Pump in the last two days- it felt great. In fact, I put together a new playlist for Spin and it was such a GREAT playlist! I'm subbing several classes in the coming month- a few conditioning classes at Pacific Sports Resort, a few spin classes at Gold's and then my normal Body Pump classes. I'm signed up for Body Pump AIM in a few weeks, so I can't let this injury take me down! I have plans, I have things to accomplish.
I am tracking my food once again- or at least trying to. I have been super hungry- probably in part to my metabolism boosting with the additional workouts and PMS! I have an addiction to Mother's Double Fudge cookies and I cannot buy them anymore. I finally did the point calculation and 2 cookies are 5 points!! Yikes! Other than that, I am doing pretty well. I've been really busy, so I have not been able to get into my eating groove completely, but I am no longer eating on the run- well except for Sunday when Bill & I were pressed for time between packing up mom's house and meeting at my brother's to continue packing and moving him out...so it was a Taco Bell lunch!
This week is flying by and I still have so much to accomplish, but I will persevere I think! I would love to stay up and finish things tonight, but I am really tired and must get up early to get things done before a morning of hair appointments for me & mom, then lunch, then Doctor appointment for Mom! Still no answer on the treatment for her big toe. It really is looking a lot better, but we'll see what the Doctor says.
Looking forward to the weekend- which as far as fun begins tomorrow night- well I guess that is tonight since it's almost 1am. Daughtry concert tonight in S.F., then Sugarland concert Friday night, Saturday is the "girls day of fun" in Livermore/Pleasanton to play Bocce Ball, have lunch and see a movie. Sunday, I think taking mom to bingo is in order and then having the family over to celebrate Rob's birthday- which is officially today- he is now 17 years old! Gosh, I feel so old!
Had a "small world" moment this week. In trying to get mom to feel more "at home" in Redwood City, I've been trying to encourage her to attend church at the local Catholic Parish. She is interested. I wanted to check the clergy roster at St. Pius and saw the Pastor listed as Rev. Paul Rossi. Well, back in grammar school, we had a Fr. Rossi, he was a Deacon - so new to the priesthood. I did some inquiring and found out that this is the same Fr. Rossi! How crazy is that? Mom was excited to have this "connection" to her new Parish and seems excited to get to church and to check out their Senior Club which meets on Fridays.
Yesterday I had the MRI on my foot, today I met with the Doctor for the results. It seems that I have a degenerative ligament. As for treatment, he modified my inserts, gave me some pads for my other shoes that the inserts don't fit - like my flip flops and dance boots. He wants me to go to Physical Therapy twice a week for four weeks and see if they can strengthen the other ligaments in my foot so that this degenerative one is not further damaged. He seems to think that surgery is inevitable and that it's just a question of when. I'm not a fan of any surgery, so I will try whatever I need to and hopefully get my foot back to normal or at least get rid of the pain. The Doctor also suggested that I try the Sketchers Shape Up shoes because they will alleviate the pressure on my toes, it's the action of flexing my foot that hurts the most. So even though I think the shoes are mostly ugly and that there have been a lot of negative press on them, I ordered a pair tonight. Again, whatever it takes for my foot to heal!
I said a few weeks ago that I was finally taking care of me and this was part of it, but I don't want to experience set backs. I am getting into a groove with fitness again, I'm feeling weight starting to fall off again. I taught two Spin classes and one Body Pump in the last two days- it felt great. In fact, I put together a new playlist for Spin and it was such a GREAT playlist! I'm subbing several classes in the coming month- a few conditioning classes at Pacific Sports Resort, a few spin classes at Gold's and then my normal Body Pump classes. I'm signed up for Body Pump AIM in a few weeks, so I can't let this injury take me down! I have plans, I have things to accomplish.
I am tracking my food once again- or at least trying to. I have been super hungry- probably in part to my metabolism boosting with the additional workouts and PMS! I have an addiction to Mother's Double Fudge cookies and I cannot buy them anymore. I finally did the point calculation and 2 cookies are 5 points!! Yikes! Other than that, I am doing pretty well. I've been really busy, so I have not been able to get into my eating groove completely, but I am no longer eating on the run- well except for Sunday when Bill & I were pressed for time between packing up mom's house and meeting at my brother's to continue packing and moving him out...so it was a Taco Bell lunch!
This week is flying by and I still have so much to accomplish, but I will persevere I think! I would love to stay up and finish things tonight, but I am really tired and must get up early to get things done before a morning of hair appointments for me & mom, then lunch, then Doctor appointment for Mom! Still no answer on the treatment for her big toe. It really is looking a lot better, but we'll see what the Doctor says.
Looking forward to the weekend- which as far as fun begins tomorrow night- well I guess that is tonight since it's almost 1am. Daughtry concert tonight in S.F., then Sugarland concert Friday night, Saturday is the "girls day of fun" in Livermore/Pleasanton to play Bocce Ball, have lunch and see a movie. Sunday, I think taking mom to bingo is in order and then having the family over to celebrate Rob's birthday- which is officially today- he is now 17 years old! Gosh, I feel so old!
Had a "small world" moment this week. In trying to get mom to feel more "at home" in Redwood City, I've been trying to encourage her to attend church at the local Catholic Parish. She is interested. I wanted to check the clergy roster at St. Pius and saw the Pastor listed as Rev. Paul Rossi. Well, back in grammar school, we had a Fr. Rossi, he was a Deacon - so new to the priesthood. I did some inquiring and found out that this is the same Fr. Rossi! How crazy is that? Mom was excited to have this "connection" to her new Parish and seems excited to get to church and to check out their Senior Club which meets on Fridays.
Friday, May 25, 2012
Emotions running high...
This has been a pretty crazy week- but then welcome to my life, when is my life not crazy?! Mom is doing well, she had two Doctor appointments yesterday to the Vascular Specialist and today to meet her new Primary Care Physician. The Vascular Specialist confirmed that mom's big toe infection is MRSA- which is a very stubborn bacterial infection. We are waiting for the Infectious Disease Specialist to determine the best way to treat the infection. The good news however, the Doctor was very pleased with progress on the toe - I received a huge compliment from the Doctor and she said she had no doubt that the progress on the toe was due to family taking care of the dressing changes. It makes my 1-2 visits per day all worth it if we can see positive progress and have mom keep her big toe! She is in a lot of pain though and the Doctor is still adamant about her not taking any more narcotic pain medication. So mom is self-medicating with a second glass of wine before bed! Today the Primary Care Doctor suggested that mom cut back on the wine so that she won't damage her heart lining anymore than it already is. Mom's reaction to that, "I'm at peace and ready to die whenever and until that happens, I am enjoying my wine". Poor Doctor, she got the wrath of Pat - but she understood too. Mom has had to give up so much these past few months. It really can't be easy on her, but she is adjusting. Her biggest complaint about WT is that all the people are old and dying and not interesting. She doesn't associate herself with these people, you gotta love that. But I do get it, there are some who are just "blah" for lack of a more intelligent word. But she is meeting some people who are more interesting and she plans to get out to some local coffee shops so that she can become a "local". She also wants to check out the local Catholic Church, I'd love for her to get involved with Redeemer so we can introduce her to some of the older Parishioners there, but I don't think she's ready to convert yet. :)
Yesterday was her 83rd birthday! A day that at times this year, I really thought she would not be with us to celebrate. It was nice to celebrate. We took her out to dinner to our local favorite Italian Place with my brother and nephews - we all had a good meal and afterwards the staff came out with her birthday cake and the two candles and the entire restaurant sang "Happy Birthday" to her, she was in tears. It was a very emotional night and we all sort of teared up when my brother arrived and had a bouquet of carnations from his yard. He has always loved Carnations and has had these plants in his yard for decades. His attitude was, "I'm not going to leave them for the new owners" and I don't blame him. But the flowers are a sad reminder of the house that is not his anymore, well as soon as escrow closes next week. I know that my mom went to bed crying last night, crying for her one and only son who is dealing with such hard times, who really has had tough times for the last 7 years - it's just not fair. I find myself asking often, "why do bad things happen to good people?" - is it because they can handle it? I just don't know. Then I think of "Thing One" & "Thing Two" - the two people who have been very instrumental in putting him in this screwed place and am just dumbfounded. "Thing One"- ultimately she's not a bad person, she's sick and I think she definitely has her own hell to live with. But, "Thing Two"- she is just pure evil and I don't care how "hard" her life seems to everyone that she cries "poor me" to, it is all an act. She is a great actress & plays the victim role well. I have come to my own place of peace about both of these women...it's time to move on for all of us. No time for negativity or drama in my life.
I had a self-indulgent morning today- I layed in bed for an hour and read my book- I can't even begin to remember when I last did something like that. It was wonderful, in fact I am almost done with my book and am tempted to crawl into bed and read some more now- of course hard to do with Bill sleeping and the lighting in the bedroom at night is not conducive to reading in bed!
TGIF! Technically, it is midnight and a new day!
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
Starting to take care of me!
Things, I think are finally settling down with mom. She is at Woodside Terrace and hopefully things will continue to get better for her. The only gray area right now is her big toe- which is pretty nasty, the bone is exposed, she has a bone infection and we are waiting for culture results to determine the course of action. Antibiotics are not ideal since she is prone to the C-diff infection, so it could be a long course of cleaning the wound out and getting the bacteria out manually so skin can grow over the bone or amputate the toe. Time will tell. She has had her lonely, depressing moments at Woodside Terrace and yesterday even said that she really wanted a cigarette. She says she's going to ask the Doctor if she can have 1-2 cigarettes a day. I just about lost it and gave her an ear full! Today she was better. I've been doing her bandage changes and although the toe looks gross, I think it is looking better - but what do I know? Nurse Horst is my new hobby!
Tonight I went to play bingo with her at WT, I was the youngest person in the room, it was pretty funny to watch some of them and the interactions. We didn't win, but I think mom had fun. I thought I was going to be killed by these seniors when I accidentally knocked over my glass of water and they stopped calling numbers so I could clean it up. Don't mess with bingo at the Senior Home!! Mom says that tomorrow she is going to participate with the exercise classes, so I think that will be good for her to meet others who are active or want to be active. She is making some friends, but she came from environments at skilled nursing and hospitals where people were poking their head into her room often, she now needs to poke her head out of her room more often.
Today I made a few more Doctor appointments for mom, I had my dentist cleaning this morning and not surprising, but they want me to consult with the periodontist. Gum disease runs in the family and my mother, brother, sister have all gone through hell with their teeth/gums-waiting to find out when he will be in the office next. Ugh. Sounds like possibly pretty gross surgical procedures- I will need to be seriously medicated for that! I lined up an eye Doctor for mom, I need to get a referral from her Primary Doctor- and since we see her this week, I feel prepared. Luckily, I found a Retina Specialist office in her medical group and she is eager to get to the eye doctor. It has been months and she usually gets a shot in her eye every couple of months to keep her sight. Hopefully, we can get her in the first week of June.
I did a small walk today, house to dentist, dentist to Woodside Terrace and WT to home. less than 45 minutes total and my foot was really hurting. It's extremely frustrating because I am ready to get back into my full workouts and this is holding me back. I called today to finally have my follow up appointment regarding my inserts. I hope it's something simple, I'm not ready to agree to foot surgery- so may have to get second opinions and perhaps see what the chiropractor can do. Later tonight after my second Body Pump class, my ankle was really sore - yesterday after our massages the therapist had commented on how she thought my ankles was tight. Maybe I will book another massage to help work things out. I know that lunges did not help my foot- it seriously still hurts. It is so true though that when your feet hurt, the rest of your body is toast! So we'll see what happens Friday at the Doctor.
So today, I started logging my food on Weight Watchers again- it had been since March and I also logged in my Friday Weight- up 11 pounds from the last time I logged -back in February...guess considering all that I've been going through and the crazy driving all over, eating on the run, that's not too terrible, but I hate it! So time to re-focus, re-commit and lose this weight. Today I began measuring portions again. I taught 2 Body Pump classes and walked 45 minutes- it felt good (other than the injuries) and I really need to continue this- so please foot/ankle don't fail me now!
I also signed up for Body Pump AIM 1 training- the Advanced Instructor Module is a full day of learning how to be a better instructor, getting expert advice and mentoring from the trainers - I'm excited. I've wanted to do this for two years now, but the dates so few and far between never worked for me and my crazy schedule of life! I am also thrilled that the training is on Body Pump 81- probably my favorite release in a long time and one that I feel I know VERY well, so getting ready for that day should be relatively easy- I can at least not over think choreography. So another positive step in my Fitness Career. I have some other steps in mind, but they are going to have to wait for now.
Life as I know it will be changing quite a bit next week. My brother, his two teenagers and cat will be moving in with us temporarily (oh and three computers). His house closes but because there is a bankruptcy involved, he doesn't get proceeds until at least 30 days after closing. How does the government expect people to do this- I mean you're in bankruptcy for a reason, so now you're homeless and have to wait 30+ days to get money to move on--really annoying. Anyway, Bill & I did major spring cleaning on our closets and drawars- I still have a bit more to complete, but we have 16 bags of donations that I need to bring in later this week. Bill is such a trooper and an amazing support to me and my family. I really struck GOLD with him, completely blessed. Trying to figure out how to celebrate our Anniversary this year- since we will have a full house, I really want to get out of town and have some alone time- but also don't want to miss my classes- sort of hard to do this with a Saturday and Monday morning class. Tahoe, Bodega Bay, Yosemite, Old Sacramento, Napa, Carmel- all places we're tossing around. So this Memorial Day weekend- we will be helping my brother pack and move things into storage. It would be fabulous if he gets his offer accepted for a new piece of land...we are waiting.
I really do feel like things are starting to turn around in all areas of my life with me and my family-I have been praying extra hard and seriously handing it over to God. I know it's all in HIS time, HE has a plan and I just have to be patient and realize that there is nothing that I can do. So now I should have gotten a ton of work done tonight, but just way too pooped, so I am going to get to bed and get up early. At least that is what I am hoping to do.
Things, I think are finally settling down with mom. She is at Woodside Terrace and hopefully things will continue to get better for her. The only gray area right now is her big toe- which is pretty nasty, the bone is exposed, she has a bone infection and we are waiting for culture results to determine the course of action. Antibiotics are not ideal since she is prone to the C-diff infection, so it could be a long course of cleaning the wound out and getting the bacteria out manually so skin can grow over the bone or amputate the toe. Time will tell. She has had her lonely, depressing moments at Woodside Terrace and yesterday even said that she really wanted a cigarette. She says she's going to ask the Doctor if she can have 1-2 cigarettes a day. I just about lost it and gave her an ear full! Today she was better. I've been doing her bandage changes and although the toe looks gross, I think it is looking better - but what do I know? Nurse Horst is my new hobby!
Tonight I went to play bingo with her at WT, I was the youngest person in the room, it was pretty funny to watch some of them and the interactions. We didn't win, but I think mom had fun. I thought I was going to be killed by these seniors when I accidentally knocked over my glass of water and they stopped calling numbers so I could clean it up. Don't mess with bingo at the Senior Home!! Mom says that tomorrow she is going to participate with the exercise classes, so I think that will be good for her to meet others who are active or want to be active. She is making some friends, but she came from environments at skilled nursing and hospitals where people were poking their head into her room often, she now needs to poke her head out of her room more often.
Today I made a few more Doctor appointments for mom, I had my dentist cleaning this morning and not surprising, but they want me to consult with the periodontist. Gum disease runs in the family and my mother, brother, sister have all gone through hell with their teeth/gums-waiting to find out when he will be in the office next. Ugh. Sounds like possibly pretty gross surgical procedures- I will need to be seriously medicated for that! I lined up an eye Doctor for mom, I need to get a referral from her Primary Doctor- and since we see her this week, I feel prepared. Luckily, I found a Retina Specialist office in her medical group and she is eager to get to the eye doctor. It has been months and she usually gets a shot in her eye every couple of months to keep her sight. Hopefully, we can get her in the first week of June.
I did a small walk today, house to dentist, dentist to Woodside Terrace and WT to home. less than 45 minutes total and my foot was really hurting. It's extremely frustrating because I am ready to get back into my full workouts and this is holding me back. I called today to finally have my follow up appointment regarding my inserts. I hope it's something simple, I'm not ready to agree to foot surgery- so may have to get second opinions and perhaps see what the chiropractor can do. Later tonight after my second Body Pump class, my ankle was really sore - yesterday after our massages the therapist had commented on how she thought my ankles was tight. Maybe I will book another massage to help work things out. I know that lunges did not help my foot- it seriously still hurts. It is so true though that when your feet hurt, the rest of your body is toast! So we'll see what happens Friday at the Doctor.
So today, I started logging my food on Weight Watchers again- it had been since March and I also logged in my Friday Weight- up 11 pounds from the last time I logged -back in February...guess considering all that I've been going through and the crazy driving all over, eating on the run, that's not too terrible, but I hate it! So time to re-focus, re-commit and lose this weight. Today I began measuring portions again. I taught 2 Body Pump classes and walked 45 minutes- it felt good (other than the injuries) and I really need to continue this- so please foot/ankle don't fail me now!
I also signed up for Body Pump AIM 1 training- the Advanced Instructor Module is a full day of learning how to be a better instructor, getting expert advice and mentoring from the trainers - I'm excited. I've wanted to do this for two years now, but the dates so few and far between never worked for me and my crazy schedule of life! I am also thrilled that the training is on Body Pump 81- probably my favorite release in a long time and one that I feel I know VERY well, so getting ready for that day should be relatively easy- I can at least not over think choreography. So another positive step in my Fitness Career. I have some other steps in mind, but they are going to have to wait for now.
Life as I know it will be changing quite a bit next week. My brother, his two teenagers and cat will be moving in with us temporarily (oh and three computers). His house closes but because there is a bankruptcy involved, he doesn't get proceeds until at least 30 days after closing. How does the government expect people to do this- I mean you're in bankruptcy for a reason, so now you're homeless and have to wait 30+ days to get money to move on--really annoying. Anyway, Bill & I did major spring cleaning on our closets and drawars- I still have a bit more to complete, but we have 16 bags of donations that I need to bring in later this week. Bill is such a trooper and an amazing support to me and my family. I really struck GOLD with him, completely blessed. Trying to figure out how to celebrate our Anniversary this year- since we will have a full house, I really want to get out of town and have some alone time- but also don't want to miss my classes- sort of hard to do this with a Saturday and Monday morning class. Tahoe, Bodega Bay, Yosemite, Old Sacramento, Napa, Carmel- all places we're tossing around. So this Memorial Day weekend- we will be helping my brother pack and move things into storage. It would be fabulous if he gets his offer accepted for a new piece of land...we are waiting.
I really do feel like things are starting to turn around in all areas of my life with me and my family-I have been praying extra hard and seriously handing it over to God. I know it's all in HIS time, HE has a plan and I just have to be patient and realize that there is nothing that I can do. So now I should have gotten a ton of work done tonight, but just way too pooped, so I am going to get to bed and get up early. At least that is what I am hoping to do.
Friday, May 18, 2012
Nice Surprise...
Today was a very hectic day. I got up early so that I could get some work in before heading to SF, I had a sneaking suspicion that once I left my office today it would be awhile before I returned. Even in the best of circumstances, I was going to get back about 4pm and then have to leave again an hour later. Well, it was much crazier. Before I left my office though, Bill's sister had messaged me asking for my phone number because she was having something delivered to me and they would not take the order without the phone number. I was intrigued, but didn't have time to ponder on this.
I left my house and didn't get back until 830pm! Picked up mom, took her to get her hair cut in Belmont, then we had lunch- her 230pm Doctor appointment was moved to 3pm, so we didn't get done with that until almost 4pm. I then had an urgent travel booking to finalize before taking mom back to SF. Once she was dropped off close to 530pm, I ran by her house to pick up a few things and then headed back to Redwood City to meet my brother at Costco so he could purchase everything for Redeemer's Family Fun Day this weekend - an annual BBQ that he has organized and ran for years now. Once we finished there, I then had stops at the bank, CVS, Lucky's and then Lucia's to pick up dinner! Dinner was not ready- well the order never made it to the pizza maker, so I had to wait- which wasn't all bad, they treated me to a glass of wine for my inconvenience. Quite the whirlwind day!
When I stopped home for the brief client moment, I had flowers that had been delivered to my next door neighbor with the nicest card, "Just letting you know that a great daughter you are, wish there was more people like you. Love Debbie and Stan" ~ Bill's sister and her husband. I had tears in my eyes. You certainly don't do all the things that I have been doing for my mom to get recognition like that, but it was really a sweet thing and felt good to be validated in a way- that what I am doing is good. Later along in my travels today I ran into my friend Dianne at Lucky's and in talking to her we were talking about things with my brother and she chimed in that "your brother is so lucky to have a sister like you". Both unexpected, unsolicited comments/actions that made me feel very good and positive about life. The bottom line- I have always been one to put family first and do whatever I can for my family. It's just how we were raised. Period. It really tugs at me when I can't help or don't have the answers or my best is not good enough.
Anyway, today was a good day. As for mom and the infamous big toe - they have taken a culture of the bone so that they can determine the nature of the infection/bacteria and determine what treatment makes most sense. They really don't want to treat with antibiotics due to the C-diff susceptibility. They aren't rushing towards amputation either - so time will tell. The Doctor seemed very pleased that i would be the one doing the dressing changes and she was all in favor of mom leaving the Jewish Home and moving back into Woodside Terrace - so tomorrow is release day. Mom is very excited to get out of there- it's been a good place and she has been taken care of well- but it's not a lively place- there are a lot of people much worse off than she and she really is really to get on with life- which is a great sign!
TGIF...it's going to be a very busy weekend...!
Today was a very hectic day. I got up early so that I could get some work in before heading to SF, I had a sneaking suspicion that once I left my office today it would be awhile before I returned. Even in the best of circumstances, I was going to get back about 4pm and then have to leave again an hour later. Well, it was much crazier. Before I left my office though, Bill's sister had messaged me asking for my phone number because she was having something delivered to me and they would not take the order without the phone number. I was intrigued, but didn't have time to ponder on this.
I left my house and didn't get back until 830pm! Picked up mom, took her to get her hair cut in Belmont, then we had lunch- her 230pm Doctor appointment was moved to 3pm, so we didn't get done with that until almost 4pm. I then had an urgent travel booking to finalize before taking mom back to SF. Once she was dropped off close to 530pm, I ran by her house to pick up a few things and then headed back to Redwood City to meet my brother at Costco so he could purchase everything for Redeemer's Family Fun Day this weekend - an annual BBQ that he has organized and ran for years now. Once we finished there, I then had stops at the bank, CVS, Lucky's and then Lucia's to pick up dinner! Dinner was not ready- well the order never made it to the pizza maker, so I had to wait- which wasn't all bad, they treated me to a glass of wine for my inconvenience. Quite the whirlwind day!
When I stopped home for the brief client moment, I had flowers that had been delivered to my next door neighbor with the nicest card, "Just letting you know that a great daughter you are, wish there was more people like you. Love Debbie and Stan" ~ Bill's sister and her husband. I had tears in my eyes. You certainly don't do all the things that I have been doing for my mom to get recognition like that, but it was really a sweet thing and felt good to be validated in a way- that what I am doing is good. Later along in my travels today I ran into my friend Dianne at Lucky's and in talking to her we were talking about things with my brother and she chimed in that "your brother is so lucky to have a sister like you". Both unexpected, unsolicited comments/actions that made me feel very good and positive about life. The bottom line- I have always been one to put family first and do whatever I can for my family. It's just how we were raised. Period. It really tugs at me when I can't help or don't have the answers or my best is not good enough.
Anyway, today was a good day. As for mom and the infamous big toe - they have taken a culture of the bone so that they can determine the nature of the infection/bacteria and determine what treatment makes most sense. They really don't want to treat with antibiotics due to the C-diff susceptibility. They aren't rushing towards amputation either - so time will tell. The Doctor seemed very pleased that i would be the one doing the dressing changes and she was all in favor of mom leaving the Jewish Home and moving back into Woodside Terrace - so tomorrow is release day. Mom is very excited to get out of there- it's been a good place and she has been taken care of well- but it's not a lively place- there are a lot of people much worse off than she and she really is really to get on with life- which is a great sign!
TGIF...it's going to be a very busy weekend...!
Thursday, May 17, 2012
Changes up ahead...hopefully nothing but positiveness!
It has been a very eventful two weeks and even though I was gone for 8 days on "vacation", I am still very exhausted. Bill is exhausted as well, so I think in part it is allergies- we are never plagued with allergies when we are away, but as soon as we return home they flare up! But it was an exhausting vacation, but I did manage to find some balance to enjoy the cruise, enjoy the conference and get some rest. We danced every night, we saw every show, we had about 4 days out in the sunshine, we slept in every morning, never once making it to breakfast- which is typical since most nights we were going to bed around 2-3am! The Oasis of the Seas was awesome and I can't wait to cruise on her or Allure of the Seas again. I have yet to write my review, hopefully this weekend I will have a chance to get that done.
Since being back, work has been crazy and add to that multiple doctor appointments this week for mom, which entails driving to S.F. to pick her up, back to RWC for the appointment, back to S.F. to drop her off and then finally back home in RWC. As a result, I've been staying up late to get work done, albeit not too successfully when supplier sites go down for maintenance at these hours. I was so exhausted that I crawled into bed around 5pm today and was knocked out until 630pm. I have taught two Body Pump classes this week and if felt so GREAT to be back teaching- I really do miss it when I'm gone and it was so nice to have such welcoming students saying that they missed me, even though I left them in very good hands. It was a wonderful surprise to see that two of my regulars from Fitness 101 joined Gold's and were in my class on Thursday- felt like a very fun reunion! I am very sore having not pumped in two weeks, but it's a great type of soreness! I am hoping to get back to walking tomorrow morning. No time like the present. I need to commit to my own fitness schedule and get myself back on track. I need to start tracking my food once again- something that I have not done in months it seems. Time to make some changes. I am also going to sign up to go to AIM 1 training in June. Finally, I think I can make the schedule work!
Mom is doing pretty well over all, she has excelled with her Physical Therapy and is walking sometimes without the walker and when they had her walking with a cane the other day- she was not really using it- so she is definitely a lot stronger and fitter. She is enjoying her time at the gym. In fact, her P.T. is done as of yesterday- Medicare will only pay so much, but she still has access to the gym for her own workouts and she went today on her own! Love it! The test for C-diff came back today negative- so this is great news meaning she can return to Woodside Terrace. She has two more doses of the antibiotic so we are shooting for Friday for that transfer. Her leg is healing well, but the big toe does have an infection in the bone and we are waiting to see the course of action. We met with a specialist today who has to confer with the Vascular Doctor to determine what is best. Worst case scenario is amputation of the toe, so we'll see. They would like to treat her with antibiotics, but it's so challenging with her and the proneness to C-diff! I almost think she would rather amputate vs. risk getting C-diff again!
She had a wonderful Mother's Day. We had a full day at my brothers, my sister brought over mom's china/silverware/crystal and we BBQ'd steaks that were delicious- had many of mom's favorite foods and she was in tears twice- once when she saw the table set with her china and again when she opened up her lifesize Mother's Day card with a big Rose on it. She has gotten so many compliments on that card from the staff at the Jewish Home as it sits on display in her room. All in all, a great day for her- but a sad day for the family since it was the last family party in my brother's home. A home that he & my dad built together back in 1987. Lots of memories in that house. My brother's bankruptcy is pretty much settled, his house is sold (not for what we wanted to start fresh), but at least there is some closure.
So the next few weeks will involve a lot of moving- mom to Woodside Terrace, then at the beginning of June her "stuff" into her own apartment. My brother & nephews need to move by the end of the month and there is a lot of uncertainty with that plan right now...but I am trying to remain faithful that everything will work out. There is a plan for him, we just have to see what God has in store for him. Patience, I know- a recurring theme for me. I am really hoping that by mid-summer all will be well with the Harper family. I know I tend to underestimate "timing"- so it probably won't happen until the end of the year- so bring on 2013!
It has been a very eventful two weeks and even though I was gone for 8 days on "vacation", I am still very exhausted. Bill is exhausted as well, so I think in part it is allergies- we are never plagued with allergies when we are away, but as soon as we return home they flare up! But it was an exhausting vacation, but I did manage to find some balance to enjoy the cruise, enjoy the conference and get some rest. We danced every night, we saw every show, we had about 4 days out in the sunshine, we slept in every morning, never once making it to breakfast- which is typical since most nights we were going to bed around 2-3am! The Oasis of the Seas was awesome and I can't wait to cruise on her or Allure of the Seas again. I have yet to write my review, hopefully this weekend I will have a chance to get that done.
Since being back, work has been crazy and add to that multiple doctor appointments this week for mom, which entails driving to S.F. to pick her up, back to RWC for the appointment, back to S.F. to drop her off and then finally back home in RWC. As a result, I've been staying up late to get work done, albeit not too successfully when supplier sites go down for maintenance at these hours. I was so exhausted that I crawled into bed around 5pm today and was knocked out until 630pm. I have taught two Body Pump classes this week and if felt so GREAT to be back teaching- I really do miss it when I'm gone and it was so nice to have such welcoming students saying that they missed me, even though I left them in very good hands. It was a wonderful surprise to see that two of my regulars from Fitness 101 joined Gold's and were in my class on Thursday- felt like a very fun reunion! I am very sore having not pumped in two weeks, but it's a great type of soreness! I am hoping to get back to walking tomorrow morning. No time like the present. I need to commit to my own fitness schedule and get myself back on track. I need to start tracking my food once again- something that I have not done in months it seems. Time to make some changes. I am also going to sign up to go to AIM 1 training in June. Finally, I think I can make the schedule work!
Mom is doing pretty well over all, she has excelled with her Physical Therapy and is walking sometimes without the walker and when they had her walking with a cane the other day- she was not really using it- so she is definitely a lot stronger and fitter. She is enjoying her time at the gym. In fact, her P.T. is done as of yesterday- Medicare will only pay so much, but she still has access to the gym for her own workouts and she went today on her own! Love it! The test for C-diff came back today negative- so this is great news meaning she can return to Woodside Terrace. She has two more doses of the antibiotic so we are shooting for Friday for that transfer. Her leg is healing well, but the big toe does have an infection in the bone and we are waiting to see the course of action. We met with a specialist today who has to confer with the Vascular Doctor to determine what is best. Worst case scenario is amputation of the toe, so we'll see. They would like to treat her with antibiotics, but it's so challenging with her and the proneness to C-diff! I almost think she would rather amputate vs. risk getting C-diff again!
She had a wonderful Mother's Day. We had a full day at my brothers, my sister brought over mom's china/silverware/crystal and we BBQ'd steaks that were delicious- had many of mom's favorite foods and she was in tears twice- once when she saw the table set with her china and again when she opened up her lifesize Mother's Day card with a big Rose on it. She has gotten so many compliments on that card from the staff at the Jewish Home as it sits on display in her room. All in all, a great day for her- but a sad day for the family since it was the last family party in my brother's home. A home that he & my dad built together back in 1987. Lots of memories in that house. My brother's bankruptcy is pretty much settled, his house is sold (not for what we wanted to start fresh), but at least there is some closure.
So the next few weeks will involve a lot of moving- mom to Woodside Terrace, then at the beginning of June her "stuff" into her own apartment. My brother & nephews need to move by the end of the month and there is a lot of uncertainty with that plan right now...but I am trying to remain faithful that everything will work out. There is a plan for him, we just have to see what God has in store for him. Patience, I know- a recurring theme for me. I am really hoping that by mid-summer all will be well with the Harper family. I know I tend to underestimate "timing"- so it probably won't happen until the end of the year- so bring on 2013!
Friday, May 04, 2012
3 Months!
Today has been three months since mom's ordeal started. Hard to believe, in so many ways it seems like an eternity longer! Yet, I can still rattle off all the important dates on this journey off the top of my head. In any case, things are going very well! Mom's therapy is doing wonders for her physical abilities- she is walking distances that she has not walked in a long time and not getting any short of breath. She does have some pain in her leg- but it's not fully healed, that is normal. She is getting visits from her friends April & Anita and that has completely cheered up her spirits. No more doom & gloom, no more depression- she seems happy and is very determined to get well 100%!
She had her first post-hospital appointment with the Vascular Doctor and she cleaned up the wounds a little bit today. The surgery wound no longer needs bandages. The leg wound is almost healed- about 95% there and the big toe has a ways to go, but it is better. Her foot has been swollen a bit, so they ordered an x-ray to make sure there isn't any infection in the bone. Otherwise, everything was very positive and the Doctor just loved my mom's attitude. My sister, mom & I went out to lunch afterwards and it was wonderful to see mom "out" in the real world for the first time in three months! Her eyes lit up when she saw her Shrimp Louie Salad come and she immediately said "oh boy, I'm going to eat it all!"- well we know her eyes are much bigger than her stomach, she has leftovers for tomorrow, but she enjoyed it so much..along with a glass of wine to reward her for the pain involved at the Doctor's office.
I can honestly say that I feel at peace going away today (yes today, flight leaves in 4.5 hours and I have not gone to bed yet)- we fly to Florida and spend the night and tomorrow embark on the Oasis of the Seas. I had been stressing about being so "out of touch" if mom's condition wasn't stable and positive, but I feel very good about her condition now and hope to hear that she is back at Woodside Terrace by the time I get home. I can't believe it will be Mother's Day when I return...time sure does fly by so quickly! Looking forward to this vacation, I desperately need it. I may not get the complete benefit from the Conference, don't think my brain can handle all the information right now, so I'll do what I can but I am going to make sure I get a lot of exercise, dancing and sleep!
Tuesday, May 01, 2012
College Bound!
Just returned from Rochester, NY and after a very full day at R.I.T., Michael has decided that this is where he wants to go for college. Interestingly enough, not for Mechanical Engineering which was his front running major choice, but for Motion Picture Science. Sort of a chain of events, but when he had applied to RIT, he has put in Computer Science and 1st choice and they did not give an option for 2nd choice. Since that application, he realized that Mechanical Engineering was the preferred choice, but he could not switch that on the application. He was accepted into the Computer Science, but when he asked to change they could only waitlist him for Mechanical, but he looked at some other programs and stumbled upon the Motion Picture Science program.
Now his father and I were both a bit skeptical about this field, so I was very happy to have had a meeting with the Department Head and he explained how this relatively new major at RIT came to be and it is very much a combination of the Arts & Engineering. In fact, they wanted to call it Motion Picture Engineering, but NY State has a lot of bureaucratic stuff that Universities must go through to call something "Engineering". Both the department heads have Engineering degrees themselves and recognize the importance of an Engineer "brain" in the world of Imaging. This is a program that I think will be very good for Michael because he loves to "tinker" with stuff, he loves to "fix" things, he loves to "problem solve"- all of these are classic Engineer traits. On the other hand, he loves to work with sound, lights, video production & editing. So this will allow him to have a nice blend of both worlds. As for job prospects- the Major has a 99% job placement rate for graduates and the graduates are working in so many different related fields making anywhere from $35-70K a year, the ones on the Engineering side of Imaging making the higher salaries.
I knew once we met with the Director that Michael was going to pick R.I.T. and that he would pick this major. But I didn't say anything. We had our afternoon meeting with the Mechanical Engineering department head and although he had a lot of good information, I picked up on a somewhat negative attitude from him when he found that the "other" major Michael was considering was Motion Picture Science. After some more conversation, it became clear that he really didn't know anything about the program, but certainly had an opinion about it- or rather an opinion that Mechanical Engineering was a better program. I was a bit turned off by that- seems that Michael was also.
The campus is beautiful- spread out, but didn't feel that bad and for 18,000 students, you'd never know it, never once felt crowded at all. I think this was the better choice and I'm excited for him and also a little sad- it's going to be lonely around here without him and I know that his dad is going to have a really tough time letting his first-born head off to college. I know he's going to be 19 years old, but damn- it's so far away from home! Fortunately, airfares to Rochester are better than Alaska, so we should be able to bring him home for holidays. Will be building up the United miles again!
It is time for me to get to bed...we got home much later than planned since our 630pm flight to Chicago was delayed 2 hours, they then re-routed us on a 515pm flight through Newark, but security was slow and we missed that flight and ended up on a 750pm through Dulles. At least they gave us Economy Plus seats on that flight for our hassles. Watched a movie and finished my book and it was still a long flight!
Sunday, April 29, 2012
Taking care of me....soon!
There is no doubt that I have been spending a great deal of my life this year taking care of others. Specifically, my mom with all her health issues. My nephew with all the college stuff...& my brother with multiple issues.
I am stressed out & exhausted. I have also gained about 10 pounds in the past three months. Its so frustrating. I have no idea when I last logged my weight watchers points. I have not been able to take any fitness time for me outside of teaching my classes and the few times I have gone walking or dancing lately my foot has been bothering me quite a bit. I need to figure something out with my foot because I need to get active again, I need to get back on track and start losing weight again.
I am looking forward to our cruise this coming weekend but do NOT want to gain any weight. Usually, I lose weight on a cruise because we dance do much and I usually get to the gym. I am skeptical though because this is a conference and there will be a lot of seminars and lots of evening shows that will cut into dancing..and who knows with my foot. I am going to bring my dance sneakers & hope that they help. Looks like I wont get much sleep on this cruise...but that is another favorite part of our cruising experience.
In any case, once back from the cruise I need to see the doctor about my foot. I need to get a schedule of workouts on my calendar and stick to it. I am not even excited to wear my new matching belly button rings with my bikinis now because I feel like a beached whale!
AIM 1 will have to wait until June. It would not have been fair to our house guests if I abandoned them that morning. Bummed because AIM on release 81 would have been sweet...I will just have to put in extra time to learn & master release 82!
So taking care of me...must make this a priority. Of course much of May will involve moving mom to Woodside terrace permanently & helping Steve & his boys move to wherever will be home now that his house is "sale pending".
Friday, April 27, 2012
TGI almost F!! Mom in Rehab....College Trip #1= history!
What a week! Goodness me! Mom was transferred to the Jewish Home Rehab facility on Tuesday, I was able to be there for the transfer, see her off at Sequoia and then visit her in her room once she was settled. It went well. She has a nice room, very private and large and so far the staff seems very nice and attentive. I went to visit her again Wednesday morning and bring her a few more personal items and she was in good spirits overall. I am pretty confident that she will only be there 1- 2 weeks. She is determined to get well quickly so she can get back "home" and she is now considering Woodside Terrace as "home". Lots of relief that she was transferred in a timeline that worked into my schedule. A huge "thank you" goes out to my friend & nurse at the CSU, Dianne who talked with mom the morning of her release and also to Nurse Marcie who also took some time with mom to help her work through her feelings of loss. She is really now starting to go through the grieving process of losing her "home"- the place she's lived for almost 60 years. She is now so much better with her health that I think she can now face the reality that she really can't go back to her home and it's sad. We are trying to keep her focused on all of the positive and make sure we can get her apartment to feel as much like home to her. Although, I vote against clutter- hell if it's not a safety hazard, I don't care what her apartment looks like! I have spoken to her on the phone yesterday and today while en route and in Alaska and seems she has had some good and productive therapy sessions! I love that she is so attentive to the Giants and their games- she called me today just to let me know that they won!
Michael & I are now sitting in the Fairbanks airport awaiting our return flight home- it's a 130am flight that arrives into SF at 930am- so unless we get a cat nap on the plane- we will have been up about 26 hours by the time we land and there won't be any sleep anytime soon once we land. We have plans to go visit my mom a bring her a few things (newspaper and milkshake) and then get home. I will work what has to get worked on and then crawl into bed for a long nap!! I am exhausted and not really sure how my eyes are staying open right now--but they are and I am not an airplane sleeper..so we'll see how this all plays out! We have had a very successful day in Fairbanks! 1/2 day college tour that was very eye-opening, I like UAF and think that Michael would do well here, but we'll see how both colleges compare once we visit RIT on Monday. We finished up around 1pm and then headed to visit a hotel so that I could be "travel professional",. We toured the Princess Fairbanks Lodge and it was nice to see one of the Princess properties up close and we had a very nice maintenance man who volunteered to take us to see rooms. Truth be told, we probably got a better tour with him than we would have with any Travel Industry Sales person! We then went to the visitors bureau and looked over all the exhibits on display and it was nice to learn more about the Alaska way of life in the non-tourist season! Then finally, a double feature movie- we went to see "21 Jump Street" and then an hour later, "Lockout"- both were good and it was a nice way to pass some time! Now into our 2nd hour waiting at the airport, in about an hour we will be on the plane- finally!
Overall, a good week- productive in many ways. But sooooooooooo looking forward to a nap tomorrow and some downtime on Saturday before the whirlwind continues and we fly to Rochester, NY on Sunday morning! Oasis of the Seas--you are only 8 days away and this girl needs a cruise really bad!!! STAT!!
What a week! Goodness me! Mom was transferred to the Jewish Home Rehab facility on Tuesday, I was able to be there for the transfer, see her off at Sequoia and then visit her in her room once she was settled. It went well. She has a nice room, very private and large and so far the staff seems very nice and attentive. I went to visit her again Wednesday morning and bring her a few more personal items and she was in good spirits overall. I am pretty confident that she will only be there 1- 2 weeks. She is determined to get well quickly so she can get back "home" and she is now considering Woodside Terrace as "home". Lots of relief that she was transferred in a timeline that worked into my schedule. A huge "thank you" goes out to my friend & nurse at the CSU, Dianne who talked with mom the morning of her release and also to Nurse Marcie who also took some time with mom to help her work through her feelings of loss. She is really now starting to go through the grieving process of losing her "home"- the place she's lived for almost 60 years. She is now so much better with her health that I think she can now face the reality that she really can't go back to her home and it's sad. We are trying to keep her focused on all of the positive and make sure we can get her apartment to feel as much like home to her. Although, I vote against clutter- hell if it's not a safety hazard, I don't care what her apartment looks like! I have spoken to her on the phone yesterday and today while en route and in Alaska and seems she has had some good and productive therapy sessions! I love that she is so attentive to the Giants and their games- she called me today just to let me know that they won!
Michael & I are now sitting in the Fairbanks airport awaiting our return flight home- it's a 130am flight that arrives into SF at 930am- so unless we get a cat nap on the plane- we will have been up about 26 hours by the time we land and there won't be any sleep anytime soon once we land. We have plans to go visit my mom a bring her a few things (newspaper and milkshake) and then get home. I will work what has to get worked on and then crawl into bed for a long nap!! I am exhausted and not really sure how my eyes are staying open right now--but they are and I am not an airplane sleeper..so we'll see how this all plays out! We have had a very successful day in Fairbanks! 1/2 day college tour that was very eye-opening, I like UAF and think that Michael would do well here, but we'll see how both colleges compare once we visit RIT on Monday. We finished up around 1pm and then headed to visit a hotel so that I could be "travel professional",. We toured the Princess Fairbanks Lodge and it was nice to see one of the Princess properties up close and we had a very nice maintenance man who volunteered to take us to see rooms. Truth be told, we probably got a better tour with him than we would have with any Travel Industry Sales person! We then went to the visitors bureau and looked over all the exhibits on display and it was nice to learn more about the Alaska way of life in the non-tourist season! Then finally, a double feature movie- we went to see "21 Jump Street" and then an hour later, "Lockout"- both were good and it was a nice way to pass some time! Now into our 2nd hour waiting at the airport, in about an hour we will be on the plane- finally!
Overall, a good week- productive in many ways. But sooooooooooo looking forward to a nap tomorrow and some downtime on Saturday before the whirlwind continues and we fly to Rochester, NY on Sunday morning! Oasis of the Seas--you are only 8 days away and this girl needs a cruise really bad!!! STAT!!
Sunday, April 22, 2012
The next 8 days...
are going to be nuts and so much will be known by the end of this month. It's a bit scary on one hand but on the other hand it will be nice to just have some resolution on many things. My brother should know the outcome of his home sale by Friday and we are hoping that there are multiple interested parties that show up at the court Friday to bid and bid high. That outcome will determine what he is able to do for a "new life" - he has plans, he knows what has to happen - so it is really in God's hands at this point.
We will know which college Michael will attend in the fall. He & I travel to both Universities this week and will check them out and make an educated decision; although i think i have a pretty good idea that he will choose RIT. He did get notification on Friday that he was awarded the Buick Achievers Scholarship for $2000- so every bit helps! It's exciting to see him go off to college and I'm excited for his future and for his new path in life. So very proud of him and all he's achieved.
We will know a bit more on mom's prognosis and a better timeline for recovery. Since my last post we experienced yet one more setback. Friday morning she had a fever and she had been having some bowel issues- well they ran the tests and the C-diff was back AGAIN! She did have a very short does of anti-biotics earlier in the week and I had asked the nurse if she was also getting the Vancomiacin - which is the preventative antibiotic for c-diff and she said that it was not necessary. Grrrr! I felt so bad for my mom. To have to go through that horrible infection for a third time- just unbelievable. She was not well on Friday- so depressed, so achy and just not feeling well. I hate not being able to help and to fix things. Saturday she was a bit better- mostly tired. Today I was surprised to see her wheeling herself down the hallway in a wheelchair and she was in pretty good spirits and was happy to be up and out of bed some. The good news this weekend is that they took her off the Oxygen completely! Today after her wheeling around the hallway the Respiratory Therapist came by and checked her Saturation and she was at 98- which is amazing for her, so I feel really good about that. That is huge! I'm not sure how long they will keep her at Sequoia- with the c-diff I'm not sure if they can transfer her or if they have to wait; but the Jewish Home rehab facility in SF is waiting for her.
Life is exhausting overall and this weekend was very busy and tiring as well. Dancing Friday night was "ok"- my foot was giving me grief, so as a result I was not able to dance nearly as much as I would have liked. Had a great Body Pump class on Saturday and then the rest of the day was crazy- Brynn's play which was very cute and a quick visit to mom, then up to SF where Bill & I went by mom's house to pick up mail, then dinner & Kenny G in concert at Yoshi's, and then we ended up going dancing down on Fillmore @ Lombard. Old stomping groups from 1985! We had a pretty good time- it was nice to do something spontaneous. Today I had to visit mom and bring her the newspaper and then brunch with the RWC gal pals- which was a very fun afternoon, came home and started to relax on the couch but then got an invite from Diane to come up and chill by the pool and BBQ dinner, etc. We had a good time, but things still don't feel "right" in the world of this friendship and I can't really put my finger on it.
I do know that I am going to have a very busy short week and need to start it off rested, so I am going to get to bed EARLY for once!
are going to be nuts and so much will be known by the end of this month. It's a bit scary on one hand but on the other hand it will be nice to just have some resolution on many things. My brother should know the outcome of his home sale by Friday and we are hoping that there are multiple interested parties that show up at the court Friday to bid and bid high. That outcome will determine what he is able to do for a "new life" - he has plans, he knows what has to happen - so it is really in God's hands at this point.
We will know which college Michael will attend in the fall. He & I travel to both Universities this week and will check them out and make an educated decision; although i think i have a pretty good idea that he will choose RIT. He did get notification on Friday that he was awarded the Buick Achievers Scholarship for $2000- so every bit helps! It's exciting to see him go off to college and I'm excited for his future and for his new path in life. So very proud of him and all he's achieved.
We will know a bit more on mom's prognosis and a better timeline for recovery. Since my last post we experienced yet one more setback. Friday morning she had a fever and she had been having some bowel issues- well they ran the tests and the C-diff was back AGAIN! She did have a very short does of anti-biotics earlier in the week and I had asked the nurse if she was also getting the Vancomiacin - which is the preventative antibiotic for c-diff and she said that it was not necessary. Grrrr! I felt so bad for my mom. To have to go through that horrible infection for a third time- just unbelievable. She was not well on Friday- so depressed, so achy and just not feeling well. I hate not being able to help and to fix things. Saturday she was a bit better- mostly tired. Today I was surprised to see her wheeling herself down the hallway in a wheelchair and she was in pretty good spirits and was happy to be up and out of bed some. The good news this weekend is that they took her off the Oxygen completely! Today after her wheeling around the hallway the Respiratory Therapist came by and checked her Saturation and she was at 98- which is amazing for her, so I feel really good about that. That is huge! I'm not sure how long they will keep her at Sequoia- with the c-diff I'm not sure if they can transfer her or if they have to wait; but the Jewish Home rehab facility in SF is waiting for her.
Life is exhausting overall and this weekend was very busy and tiring as well. Dancing Friday night was "ok"- my foot was giving me grief, so as a result I was not able to dance nearly as much as I would have liked. Had a great Body Pump class on Saturday and then the rest of the day was crazy- Brynn's play which was very cute and a quick visit to mom, then up to SF where Bill & I went by mom's house to pick up mail, then dinner & Kenny G in concert at Yoshi's, and then we ended up going dancing down on Fillmore @ Lombard. Old stomping groups from 1985! We had a pretty good time- it was nice to do something spontaneous. Today I had to visit mom and bring her the newspaper and then brunch with the RWC gal pals- which was a very fun afternoon, came home and started to relax on the couch but then got an invite from Diane to come up and chill by the pool and BBQ dinner, etc. We had a good time, but things still don't feel "right" in the world of this friendship and I can't really put my finger on it.
I do know that I am going to have a very busy short week and need to start it off rested, so I am going to get to bed EARLY for once!
Friday, April 20, 2012
Sometimes you just have to let go and let God take care of things!
The control freak in me has a very HARD time doing this sometimes. I can admit it, I am a serious control freak and I won't apologize for it. I ams what I am! Well, as suspected mom is being released tomorrow to a Skilled Nursing Facility. We were told that Brookside in San Mateo had accepted her and I did my due diligence and determined that it was a place with good reviews & ratings and should work out fine. Well, today the Social Worker calls me and says that the insurance company won't approve Brookside because mom is still under "Health Net San Francisco County", her "Health Net San Mateo County" does not become effective until 5/1- so we are once again at the mercy of the friggin' insurance companies! You'd think that someone logical could see through all of this and come to a better resolution and back-date her policy to 4/1 or something like that- but no, seems like it's all black & white- no gray areas to be found!
So I had my typical freak out moment, then the Social worker called me with the "approved" places so I could at least do my homework. Because the Social Worker works at a San Mateo County hospital, she is not familiar with any of these places in S.F. I was just happy to learn that the place mom stayed at in February was not on the list. Thankfully! There were two in S.F. and one in Pacifica. By the end of the day, I had received a call from "Jewish home" in S. F. and it sounds like this is the place that mom will be transferred to tomorrow. My first instinct when faced with something that I cannot control, is to find the positive in the situation. Thankfully, I am a half full type of person and am normally an optimistic being. Jewish Home is located on Silver Avenue- right in mom's old neighborhood. Parking is plentiful and free. It's a nice, modern facility- I'm not even sure what used to be in its place. They are not a hospital with SNF attached- this is a placed designed for Skilled Nursing, Rehab and extended stays if needed for Assisted Living. However, they have a full nursing and therapy staff to tend to all needs. I think that this place may actually be a good social outlet for mom since she will be in her neighborhood, some of her friends should be able to come visit her and since she has not seen her friends for almost 3 months now- I think it may do all of them some good!
The hard part with this is the distance and my desire to go visit as much as possible. It sucks to be in a facility of any sort. I also know that my mother enjoys her daily newspaper. So I need to figure out a way to get that to her. It would be ideal if they get the paper at Jewish Home without doing anything with her subscription. It's all this logistical crap that drives me nuts- but it's important that she's happy and kept occupied with things that make her happy. She does her jumble puzzle in the paper, she enjoys her wine with dinner (hoping they can accommodate her at Jewish Home with that)..anyway, I hope that this part of her journey goes quick and smoothly and that she is able to recover quickly and get back to life at Woodside Terrace. I am going to try to coordinate visits with some of her friends so that they can cover days that I know I won't be able to be there. Of course, the timing is crazy with Alaska College trip Wednesday-Friday of next week and then NY College trip Sunday-Monday following...with 3 days back before I leave for my conference at Sea....leaving me out of touch for 8 days. Any other time and I would welcome that detachment from society and life and all the "connections" that we have day to day - but unless my mother is safely back at Woodside Terrace by then, it's going to be very hard for me to enjoy being away.
This has certainly been an enlightening, learning process. I have been touched by so many people through this process. Tonight I taught my last class at Fitness 101 since they will be closing at the end of the month. The instructor who teaches the class before mine asked how my mom was doing. Another one of my students asked me after class how my mom was doing. These are once a week people in my life who have really paid attention, who have really shown that they care. It's pretty freaking awesome. It was a great class tonight- even if there were only 3 people there. With the gym closing, many of the members have moved onto other gyms.
I have had a pretty demanding week otherwise- work has been crazy busy- which is good. I did experience the "IRS taketh away" on Tuesday as I wrote the painful check, but was fairly relieved today when "cruises lines giveth back" in the form of some commission payments. Not the total amount and we'll see once I pay all of the upcoming bills just how much that helps...still hate the tax man! But nice to be busy and know that this too shall pass. My classes at the gym have been going well, but I need to get in my own workouts, it is just not possible right now. That part is killing me, I am also not eating right- so feeling like a blimp- the same 5 pounds now for the past 7 months up/down/up/down. I am determined to lose weight on our cruise- I am going to work out and dance as much as I can. Of course, my foot has been giving me grief too! Always something!
I just got word that there is a Body Pump AIM1 workshop in May locally and I really want to go, but I need to discuss with Bill because it will mean deserting him with our house guests and making him drive them to SF to catch their cruise ship- he is not a city boy. But I really want to do this!
I am very happy that tomorrow is Friday and we have a busy weekend ahead- one that just now got busier with visits to SF...but excited to go dancing tomorrow night, we have Brynn's first play on Saturday (must remember to buy her some flowers for after the performance), then Saturday night- Kenny G at Yoshi's! Sunday- church and brunch with a fabulous bunch of ladies to celebrate three birthdays! Should be a great morning/afternoon and I'm hoping that I can enjoy some sunshine in the afternoon...we are expecting great temperatures this weekend!
The control freak in me has a very HARD time doing this sometimes. I can admit it, I am a serious control freak and I won't apologize for it. I ams what I am! Well, as suspected mom is being released tomorrow to a Skilled Nursing Facility. We were told that Brookside in San Mateo had accepted her and I did my due diligence and determined that it was a place with good reviews & ratings and should work out fine. Well, today the Social Worker calls me and says that the insurance company won't approve Brookside because mom is still under "Health Net San Francisco County", her "Health Net San Mateo County" does not become effective until 5/1- so we are once again at the mercy of the friggin' insurance companies! You'd think that someone logical could see through all of this and come to a better resolution and back-date her policy to 4/1 or something like that- but no, seems like it's all black & white- no gray areas to be found!
So I had my typical freak out moment, then the Social worker called me with the "approved" places so I could at least do my homework. Because the Social Worker works at a San Mateo County hospital, she is not familiar with any of these places in S.F. I was just happy to learn that the place mom stayed at in February was not on the list. Thankfully! There were two in S.F. and one in Pacifica. By the end of the day, I had received a call from "Jewish home" in S. F. and it sounds like this is the place that mom will be transferred to tomorrow. My first instinct when faced with something that I cannot control, is to find the positive in the situation. Thankfully, I am a half full type of person and am normally an optimistic being. Jewish Home is located on Silver Avenue- right in mom's old neighborhood. Parking is plentiful and free. It's a nice, modern facility- I'm not even sure what used to be in its place. They are not a hospital with SNF attached- this is a placed designed for Skilled Nursing, Rehab and extended stays if needed for Assisted Living. However, they have a full nursing and therapy staff to tend to all needs. I think that this place may actually be a good social outlet for mom since she will be in her neighborhood, some of her friends should be able to come visit her and since she has not seen her friends for almost 3 months now- I think it may do all of them some good!
The hard part with this is the distance and my desire to go visit as much as possible. It sucks to be in a facility of any sort. I also know that my mother enjoys her daily newspaper. So I need to figure out a way to get that to her. It would be ideal if they get the paper at Jewish Home without doing anything with her subscription. It's all this logistical crap that drives me nuts- but it's important that she's happy and kept occupied with things that make her happy. She does her jumble puzzle in the paper, she enjoys her wine with dinner (hoping they can accommodate her at Jewish Home with that)..anyway, I hope that this part of her journey goes quick and smoothly and that she is able to recover quickly and get back to life at Woodside Terrace. I am going to try to coordinate visits with some of her friends so that they can cover days that I know I won't be able to be there. Of course, the timing is crazy with Alaska College trip Wednesday-Friday of next week and then NY College trip Sunday-Monday following...with 3 days back before I leave for my conference at Sea....leaving me out of touch for 8 days. Any other time and I would welcome that detachment from society and life and all the "connections" that we have day to day - but unless my mother is safely back at Woodside Terrace by then, it's going to be very hard for me to enjoy being away.
This has certainly been an enlightening, learning process. I have been touched by so many people through this process. Tonight I taught my last class at Fitness 101 since they will be closing at the end of the month. The instructor who teaches the class before mine asked how my mom was doing. Another one of my students asked me after class how my mom was doing. These are once a week people in my life who have really paid attention, who have really shown that they care. It's pretty freaking awesome. It was a great class tonight- even if there were only 3 people there. With the gym closing, many of the members have moved onto other gyms.
I have had a pretty demanding week otherwise- work has been crazy busy- which is good. I did experience the "IRS taketh away" on Tuesday as I wrote the painful check, but was fairly relieved today when "cruises lines giveth back" in the form of some commission payments. Not the total amount and we'll see once I pay all of the upcoming bills just how much that helps...still hate the tax man! But nice to be busy and know that this too shall pass. My classes at the gym have been going well, but I need to get in my own workouts, it is just not possible right now. That part is killing me, I am also not eating right- so feeling like a blimp- the same 5 pounds now for the past 7 months up/down/up/down. I am determined to lose weight on our cruise- I am going to work out and dance as much as I can. Of course, my foot has been giving me grief too! Always something!
I just got word that there is a Body Pump AIM1 workshop in May locally and I really want to go, but I need to discuss with Bill because it will mean deserting him with our house guests and making him drive them to SF to catch their cruise ship- he is not a city boy. But I really want to do this!
I am very happy that tomorrow is Friday and we have a busy weekend ahead- one that just now got busier with visits to SF...but excited to go dancing tomorrow night, we have Brynn's first play on Saturday (must remember to buy her some flowers for after the performance), then Saturday night- Kenny G at Yoshi's! Sunday- church and brunch with a fabulous bunch of ladies to celebrate three birthdays! Should be a great morning/afternoon and I'm hoping that I can enjoy some sunshine in the afternoon...we are expecting great temperatures this weekend!
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
Where do we go from here?
I am starting to feel uneasy once again. When visiting my mother today, she mentioned that the cardiologist said that she would probably be released by the end of the week. My mother reminded her that she can't walk yet, that she has been in the bed for two weeks. The Doctor said that they would be working on that and that a case manager should be by tomorrow to discuss her discharge options.
So now I have a billion questions and thoughts- is she going to be ok enough to be released into the care at Woodside Terrace? Or will she need to be released to another skilled nursing type facility? The main issue right now is the lack of mobility because of the leg/foot wounds. However, because of this she has been on a catheter and not able to get out of bed for the bathroom now for two weeks. So her level of care may be too extreme for Woodside Terrace. This all makes me very uneasy, I just don't know how much more of this she can take. I'm not sure how much more of all this I can take. I just want her to get better and be able to resume a somewhat normal quality of life and enjoy and have fun. Is this really too much to ask?
I know she is depressed and bummed that she's not having fun. I can't say that I blame her. How much fun can anyone have in a hospital? She is lonely at night and has said that much. But other than her stupid leg/foot issue- she is doing pretty well overall. They have her on 1/2 liter of oxygen- of course that may change once she is mobile and starts to walk around, etc. But then again, maybe not- they always did think she would get off the Oxygen, that it wouldn't be long term.
I am feeling a bit uneasy about all of this because I am a planner, I like to have things in place, I like to have a plan. I have several trips coming up next week and the week after and I want to be able to feel secure to go away, knowing that she is ok. I mean let's face it, I am the constant in her life, I go visit her everyday, I try to bring her some level of normalcy or happy to her day. I know I can get Bill or my brother to visit her on the days that I will be gone, but right now I'm just sort of freaked out not knowing where this will be. If not Sequoia or Woodside Terrace- then where? Hopefully, tomorrow the case worker will shed some light on the discharge plan and I'll feel better about that.
Things need to get better, things need to return to "normal" in our lives. The Harper family (all of us) are very wiped out on so many levels, we are ready for a fresh start- a new year, positive enegy, positive outcomes.
I am starting to feel uneasy once again. When visiting my mother today, she mentioned that the cardiologist said that she would probably be released by the end of the week. My mother reminded her that she can't walk yet, that she has been in the bed for two weeks. The Doctor said that they would be working on that and that a case manager should be by tomorrow to discuss her discharge options.
So now I have a billion questions and thoughts- is she going to be ok enough to be released into the care at Woodside Terrace? Or will she need to be released to another skilled nursing type facility? The main issue right now is the lack of mobility because of the leg/foot wounds. However, because of this she has been on a catheter and not able to get out of bed for the bathroom now for two weeks. So her level of care may be too extreme for Woodside Terrace. This all makes me very uneasy, I just don't know how much more of this she can take. I'm not sure how much more of all this I can take. I just want her to get better and be able to resume a somewhat normal quality of life and enjoy and have fun. Is this really too much to ask?
I know she is depressed and bummed that she's not having fun. I can't say that I blame her. How much fun can anyone have in a hospital? She is lonely at night and has said that much. But other than her stupid leg/foot issue- she is doing pretty well overall. They have her on 1/2 liter of oxygen- of course that may change once she is mobile and starts to walk around, etc. But then again, maybe not- they always did think she would get off the Oxygen, that it wouldn't be long term.
I am feeling a bit uneasy about all of this because I am a planner, I like to have things in place, I like to have a plan. I have several trips coming up next week and the week after and I want to be able to feel secure to go away, knowing that she is ok. I mean let's face it, I am the constant in her life, I go visit her everyday, I try to bring her some level of normalcy or happy to her day. I know I can get Bill or my brother to visit her on the days that I will be gone, but right now I'm just sort of freaked out not knowing where this will be. If not Sequoia or Woodside Terrace- then where? Hopefully, tomorrow the case worker will shed some light on the discharge plan and I'll feel better about that.
Things need to get better, things need to return to "normal" in our lives. The Harper family (all of us) are very wiped out on so many levels, we are ready for a fresh start- a new year, positive enegy, positive outcomes.
Sunday, April 15, 2012
Have you ever.....
found yourself in a situation that you really wish you weren't in? I know this happens to everyone at some point in life and probably more often than any of us would wish. I had an email blow up with my best friend earlier this week and we have not spoken since. I have been thinking this over and over again, been reading the emails back and forth repeatedly and then had two "aha" moments today.
I read one post on Facebook today from a LM Tribe member/acquaintance, "I understand the urge to want to "be right". But it also can be a very lonely place as you may isolate yourself in the process". HA!
I also had a great chat with my
friend Kristy who recently had an issue with a very close friend and in
discussing our friendship struggles she basically suggested to me that we probably need to have it out and
acknowledge that we were both hurt by what we said to each other and that an
apology won't change things, we just have to both get over it. We probably need
to apologize for hurting each other but at the same time we need to validate
each others feelings too without accusing each other of who is more
"wrong". Sometimes knowing someone like the back of your hand
can be a disadvantage at times. Things get taken for granted on both sides
of the coin.
Not that it's an excuse, but Kristy did point out that I am probably more vulnerable right now with all of the stress I've been under for the past couple of months with all that has been going on with my mom's situation and I have been exhausted. I have been on overload and that is the understatement of the year! But I also know that my best friend has also been over the top busy with lots of obligations in her life too.
We are having a "Mexican standoff" of sorts right now and I sort of laugh about the phrase because 1) she is part Mexican but more 2) that we are both being stubborn. I can admit it, I have been wanting her to call me if for no other reason to ask how my mom is doing without regard to our petty, stupid email exchange. Bottom line, it was petty, it is so stupid that we have not spoken since Monday because of this. I'm sure it's eating her up inside too (it better be)- LOL, but the bottom line- I love her, I miss her and I am sorry that we had a falling out. Going to do something about this. The friendship is too important to let this nonsense go on any longer.
Friday, April 13, 2012
The Bucket List...of ailments!
I went to visit mom this evening after being at the Giants Season Home Opening Game and when I walked into her room, she was being transfused! I was shocked and asked her what was up with the blood transfusion and she disgustingly looks at me and says, "Now, I'm anemic!" You can tell she's just super frustrated and I don't blame her! I teased her and said, "What do you have a bucket list of health conditions/ailments or something?"
Seriously though, in the past year or so she has had or been diagnosed with: duodenal ulcer, leg ulcers, poor circulation that resulted in the bypass surgery, kidney damage from surgery (recovered on her own), c-diff bacterial infection twice, congestive heart failure, high potassium (kidney related), blood clot, MRSA bacteria carrier and now anemia!
Well, she was eating her dinner and drinking her glass of wine and she was overall in good spirits. She was very happy that the Giants won today and she enjoyed listening to the game on her radio. She said that she didn't get out of bed today- the Doctor didn't want her to; however, they did decide to not bandage her leg today which she said felt good to let it "air out". She continues to be impressed by the level of care and the fact that all these Doctors are visiting her daily. They are pleased with her progress.
I was asking her nurse, Suzanne some things while she was changing out the transfusion packet and while asking how many liters of Oxygen mom was on, she said "one liter, but she can probably live without it. We are just giving it to her now because of the transfusion". This is really good news- I mean the Docs had always said when she was in Sequoia last time that they felt the Oxygen would be temporary and it stands to reason that will all the things she has been fighting, she has required additional Oxygen. If she can get off the O2, she will be able to be much more independent. Since she really had not been walking at all in over a week, I am sure she will be in the hospital for another 3-4 days at least. I'm not sure when she will be able to bear weight on her left foot. That is probably the largest obstacle at this time.
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