Bye bye January!
WOW- one month down, 11 to go! Time, please stop moving so quickly! It's been a crazy start to the year and January has not been a very bad month. It's been a very busy Travel Business month, my second highest January sales in the last 5 years and that is with me being gone one full week! I hope this sets the tone for 2013 and that my overall sales will be up. I don't see any reason why they won't. The rest of my life has settled down a bit, giving me the time to actively promote some travel ideas.
We just got back from a week in Maui and it was a nice time away with my wonderful hubby. Warm weather & lots of chill time. But even more importantly, it gave me the time to test the waters (so to speak) and start walking again. I have been eager to see how my foot would fair with walking again (as in power walking) and Wailea has a beautiful oceanside path for just that purpose. I am stoked to say that I went walking on that path 3 of the 4 mornings that we were in Wailea and walked between 3-4 miles each time. It was fabulous! Once we relocated to Makena, Bill & I went for a walk through that neighborhood, while not as gorgeous with a beach path, it is still Maui & this walk included some hills, which was good training since my walks at home are filled with hills. I was able to take a yoga class one of the mornings and then also put some time in at the gym one other morning and did the Elliptical trainer. Ok, I have not used one of those machines in a very, very long time and today my legs are killing me! It's a great feeling though! I can't remember the last time that I took a vacation and did this much exercise. It's been a long time. I think I am now ready to get back into my daily routines and walking with Diane and experimenting with a few other classes at the gym to get my fitness on! Today, I planned on doing Body Pump at home and really wanted that to be "first thing", but had some things I needed to do for mom but made sure I did the full release in my living room before dinner. Served as a good review of choreography for teaching Saturday and it will also help for that class to not hurt too badly!
Tomorrow, I get back in the saddle again! I was offered a spin class at the Palo Alto Family YMCA and decided that I would jump at the chance. I had been emailing the director at Crunch letting him know that if any of the early morning spin classes became available, I would be interested- I sub those classes often and it's a good fit - my style of teaching and the participants. But so far, nobody is moving. Figured I would try this class at the Y out and see if I am a good fit for their members. It's always so hard to take over a class, but it seems as though this class has been shared by 3 other people, so maybe they will welcome the consistency. I have missed teaching spin, so I am ready to get back on the bike! This will bring me up to 4 classes per week and my goal by summer time would hopefully bring that up to 6-7 classes per week. Gold's Gym is looking at potentially adding more Les Mills programs and that is very exciting, so I may find myself in a position to train for another one of those formats!
I have resumed my Weight Watchers program with a twist. Not only am I counting my points, but I have been trying a lot of new things. I have been stepping out of the box and putting things in my body that I have previously labeled with the big red circle with the slant line through it! I have been drinking tea in the morning (not hot chocolate, not sugary cider), I made a green smoothie before my vacation (well it was brown) but it contained baby spinach, kale, strawberries, banana, peach, pineapple and I drank the whole thing and it tasted pretty ok. I bought some steel cut oats, but have not tried them yet. I don't drink sodas that often, but can say that I have not had one in weeks- previously I might have had one every 2-3 days. I have also cut back on wine (sadly), but have really limited wine to 2-3 days each week. While on vacation in Maui- I snacked on grapes and pineapple. I tried any veggies that happened to be served on my plate, without having my napkin ready to spit it out. After two weeks on Weight Watchers, I had lost 6 pounds and this was after being in Maui for 2 days! In fact, I was prepared to take my Wednesday weight for the week (I weigh in on Fridays), but when I was at the Spa on Friday for my massage treatment they had a scale, so I dropped my towel and jumped up! I was pleasantly pleased that it registered with weight loss for the week. I will weigh in tomorrow after the rest of our vacation and if the scale is the same or slightly higher, it's ok, I will bounce back quickly. In fact, I already feel it. I was chatting with my mom about vacation and eating/drinking/points and that prompted me to review my week in Maui or at least from last Friday (the last WW week) and yes I am -69 points, to be expected from vacation. However, it was the alcohol that put me in the deficit. I had eaten quite well throughout the week. I was able to control my eating environment for several meals. It felt good to be able to do that.
Back on track today, went shopping and picked up several fruits, a few veggies and plan to make another green smoothie tomorrow for lunch. I'm on a mission and my goal is to lose 1-2 pounds per week. I can do this. I will do this.
It's going to be a great weekend - a friday of spin, work, dancing. A saturday of Body Pump, work, Baptismal pre-party and then Super Sunday - starting with Baby Nash's Baptism and then 49ER SUPER BOWL SUNDAY! So ridiculously excited for the game and the fun time with friends. Might even see about taking Kristy's Body Flow class between the two making it an even more super Sunday.
Update on Mom:
Mom ended up in the hospital once again while I was in Maui, but fortunately she is out now after a 5 night stay. Darn Colitis and C-diff (related of course)...she just can't win. I started thinking a bit more about this tonight and for two weeks she had been experiencing some intermittent dry heaving in the morning or before her first meal of the day. This stopped after being admitted. I think we've concluded that it was the Iron Supplement that was upsetting her stomach and I wouldn't be at all surprised if this stomach upset left her vulnerable for the darn C-diff to creep back again. Hopefully, this is IT! The legs are considered "healed", which is AWESOME news - time for her to live and enjoy life! As Valerie from Dr Gillon's office said, let's hope for small goals- so right now we're saying no hospital visits for February. Also, time for us to figure out what we're doing with mom's house. Spring is a great time to sell, so we really need to get on it if that is the direction we are going to go. So TIME, please slow the hell down!!!!
Thursday, January 31, 2013
Wednesday, January 09, 2013
Just Amazed...
I was just reviewing the pictures that I've taken along the way of mom's journey last year and now into this year. When I look at how her legs looked back in February and what they look like now, it is nothing short of a miracle that she has made the progress that she has made. For a woman who feels like she should have died in 2011, her body has been fighting the good fight so so long. We had our second appointment today with Dr Mike and his new bandage approach seems to be helping. Between the bandage and the Lasix, the swelling in mom's leg is next to nothing and without that inflammation, the circulation is improved. She is also not experiencing any leg pain, which means she is now sleeping better at night- something that is very critical for any sort of healing.
Dr. Mike thinks we probably have 4-6 weeks left of healing, which sounds like an eternity, but when you consider that the healing process BEGAN 2/3/12 and it will be just over a year hopefully by the time her legs are completely healed, yes it's a long time- but she was living with this pain and suffering for so much longer before she ended up in the hospital. I do blame her Doctors in San Francisco for not trying other things sooner. Her underlying problem was vascular all along because without blood flow, wounds won't heal- simple science. Just infuriates me that she has had to go through so much suffering and pain because others didn't do what should have been obvious.
I am also mad that I was not as involved, understandably- mom was living very independently in SF on her own and going to all her Doctor appointments alone. Little did I know back then how much more advocacy she needed. She would believe whatever the Doctors would tell her and I don't think I fully grasped what was really going on with her legs. I'm just so thankful that she did finally end up at the hospital and then even more thankful that she ended up here in Redwood City under the care of the great team at Sequoia Hospital. I feel like we are in the home stretch, that we can finally see a flicker of light at the end of this tunnel.
I hope that the vancomycin has been helping, but hope that it has not been the largest component of her healing. She has a few more days of the medication and then we'll see if the wounds continue their healing with the bandage. Although this drug has been wonderful in healing, I am also a bit cautious because I truly believe that this medication has also helped to progress the hearing loss that she has been experiencing. We have to look into hearing aids, but mom is not so fond of dishing out what they cost. I think we will experiment with a cheap pair from EBay to "test the waters".
Looks like things should be pretty easy while I'm away in Maui. Mom should only have one Dr. appt with Dr. Mike and my brother is more than happy to take her (this is the same Dr. who performed his surgery back in August) and no bandage changes- YAY! Fingers crossed that things continue in a positive direction!
If you are squeamish, I would recommend you stop reading now..but here are a few "progress pictures" of where the leg has been and where it is now....simply amazing.
I was just reviewing the pictures that I've taken along the way of mom's journey last year and now into this year. When I look at how her legs looked back in February and what they look like now, it is nothing short of a miracle that she has made the progress that she has made. For a woman who feels like she should have died in 2011, her body has been fighting the good fight so so long. We had our second appointment today with Dr Mike and his new bandage approach seems to be helping. Between the bandage and the Lasix, the swelling in mom's leg is next to nothing and without that inflammation, the circulation is improved. She is also not experiencing any leg pain, which means she is now sleeping better at night- something that is very critical for any sort of healing.
Dr. Mike thinks we probably have 4-6 weeks left of healing, which sounds like an eternity, but when you consider that the healing process BEGAN 2/3/12 and it will be just over a year hopefully by the time her legs are completely healed, yes it's a long time- but she was living with this pain and suffering for so much longer before she ended up in the hospital. I do blame her Doctors in San Francisco for not trying other things sooner. Her underlying problem was vascular all along because without blood flow, wounds won't heal- simple science. Just infuriates me that she has had to go through so much suffering and pain because others didn't do what should have been obvious.
I am also mad that I was not as involved, understandably- mom was living very independently in SF on her own and going to all her Doctor appointments alone. Little did I know back then how much more advocacy she needed. She would believe whatever the Doctors would tell her and I don't think I fully grasped what was really going on with her legs. I'm just so thankful that she did finally end up at the hospital and then even more thankful that she ended up here in Redwood City under the care of the great team at Sequoia Hospital. I feel like we are in the home stretch, that we can finally see a flicker of light at the end of this tunnel.
I hope that the vancomycin has been helping, but hope that it has not been the largest component of her healing. She has a few more days of the medication and then we'll see if the wounds continue their healing with the bandage. Although this drug has been wonderful in healing, I am also a bit cautious because I truly believe that this medication has also helped to progress the hearing loss that she has been experiencing. We have to look into hearing aids, but mom is not so fond of dishing out what they cost. I think we will experiment with a cheap pair from EBay to "test the waters".
Looks like things should be pretty easy while I'm away in Maui. Mom should only have one Dr. appt with Dr. Mike and my brother is more than happy to take her (this is the same Dr. who performed his surgery back in August) and no bandage changes- YAY! Fingers crossed that things continue in a positive direction!
If you are squeamish, I would recommend you stop reading now..but here are a few "progress pictures" of where the leg has been and where it is now....simply amazing.
February 2011
August 2012
October 2012
Today's pictures: 
Monday, January 07, 2013
I AM BACK!
Gosh, I can't believe that I have not blogged for over a month. Not for lack of thinking about it, I have had so much going through my head in the past month that I attempted to write several times but felt that my thoughts were so "all over the place" that it was just too overwhelming. Perhaps now, I can write a bit more intelligently and a bit more cohesively. We'll see, I'm going to try- but be warned that this attempt could still end up being a post that is any which way but loose.
The Holidays have always been one of my most favorite times of year and I think in large part because I am a huge traditionalist. It's not that I don't like change, I can go with the flow- but I really do love traditions. But this Holiday season was filled with a variety of things that really challenged me and my traditional self. We had our annual get togethers with my Travel Gang, with my sister's friends and our annual party with our friends. We go through great lengths to put together a really fun party for our friends. We don't entertain much throughout the year, mainly because our place just isn't that conducive for anything larger than 2-3 couples. Our house is not kid-friendly, so with most of our friends needing baby-sitters, it's just easier to go to their houses, so this one day out of the year we go all out to "treat" our friends to a nice night with a catered dinner, dancing, beverages. While I am grateful for all who attended- well between 25-30 people, I was still annoyed by the select few who are continually invited but then never come. Adding to that, they wait until the last 2-3 days to finally RSVP- really? I mean are you waiting to see what else is going to happen that night so you can pick the best offer? As a hostess who can see just how many times people view the eVite, shit or get off the pot and make up your mind if you're going to join us or not- don't lag. We give so much notice because it's important to us to have our friends attend and we want to be the first invite people get. On the flip side, I am extremely grateful and love all who attended, even the BFF who had a bit of an altercation with her BIL at the end of night that brought the fun times to a halting stop and mass exodus. S@!T happens! No use crying over broken wine glasses.
We had an absolutely AMAZING fun time in SF for Mike's 49th birthday...going out of the 40's in style in a party bus with a total of 12 fun fun people. Dinner, dancing- lots of laughs, it was a night that will go down in the history books. Diane kept saying all night how they have the best friends and we really are a great group of people- everyone gets along so well.
We had to set up our annual Gift exchange with the Yelinek sisters, usually Diane & family are on Christmas Eve, Linda & family are on Christmas Day and Janet & family are on the day after. This year we had to change things up a bit because Janet had to work the day after, so we got together the day before Christmas Eve and had a very nice dinner with her & Scott, exchanged gifts with them & Scott's kids, but Janet's kids weren't there yet, so didn't get to watch them open their gifts- but Janet did send over text pictures on Christmas of the kids (teens) with their gifts. Again, a bit of change in Tradition- but not too big of a deal.
Christmas Eve was all set to be a gift exchange with Diane & family around 3pm, then go to Church together (getting her kids to church is something I've been wanting to do for a long time) and then afterwards they were going to have a low key family night at home. But their schedule got out of whack and meeting before Church wasn't going to work and then they weren't going to make it to church at all. They ended up coming over around 10pm that night instead after dinner and after they stopped by another friend's house. I went with the flow, what I always do- but I was upset that plans had changed and felt a bit like we were pushed to the back burner. We still had a good time. After they left, Bill & I did our gift exchange & watched a movie and then crashed earlier than we normally do on Christmas Eve. Although my mom did come to church with me and stayed for dinner (Steve's famous Spaghetti dinner)- I did miss our tradition of opening gifts with mom and watching "White Christmas" together with Bailey's Coffee. We kept thinking we'd watch it the next day, but it never happened. I have NEVER gone a year without watching "White Christmas". Sad.
Christmas Day was EASY. Tradition once again- changed. Bill has been after me for years to change up the menu and this year we finally did Prime Rib and I will give Bill props because it was the easiest meal. I made a crock pot cream corn that was delish, made creamed spinach, rolls, mashed potatoes and it was a very good meal. In fact, I enjoyed my meal that night. Usually, with Turkey- I enjoy the leftovers, but don't enjoy the actual meal. Linda came over and was running late, but we did gifts with her girls and visited for a little bit and then my sister, Roger and mom arrived and we started doing our family gifts. Felt weird to send mom "home" because she usually spends the night- so another tradition that has changed forever. Aside from the fact that we don't have a guest room anymore, she would never be able to get up the stairs in her condition.
The next day Bill had to work, so I taught a 6am class and then mom wasn't feeling quite up to going to the movie- something we always do the day after Christmas, so that tradition was tweaked this year. I ended up relaxing most of the day and then taught class that evening. It was still good.
I think I really realized and I think my mom even realized that this might have been her last Christmas with us. I know she is worried about me and how I will be when she's gone. If I had blogged 1-2 days after Christmas, I would have said that it was our last Christmas with mom & I was having a hard time with that realization, but today I'm not so sure about that. She really is related to the Energizer Bunny!
Mom did end up in the hospital again before 2012 would end. She had been showing signs of shortness of breath before Christmas and I was keeping a close eye on it and asking her questions about it- but I didn't push and neither did she- I would presume that we both didn't want her to be in the hospital for Christmas. So 12/28 we went to the Doctors, tests were ordered and by 4pm, she was in the ER being admitted with fluid in her lungs and very low iron levels. Sigh. Fortunately, she was released on 12/31- just in time to ring in the new year at HOME! She was sent home with 2 more prescriptions and oxygen at night. She seems to have accepted the Oxygen at night and the more research that I do, I am convinced that her shortness of breath was brought on by the low iron, so I am hoping that her breathing will be much better once the iron levels are up to where they need to be. Her moods have been up and down, but the past couple of days I am seeing signs of her returning to her happy self. We finally went to the "after Christmas Day" movie yesterday and loved it.
We got some bad news right after the New Years, mom's favorite Doctor (Gillon) was in a car accident and is off for 4-6 weeks! I sort of felt like our footing got pulled out from under us. But she referred us to a Surgeon friend of hers and we met with him this past week. He decided to try a different bandaging technique since the two wounds, although almost healed- they are taking their sweet ass time in healing. The beauty of this bandage- it's on for a week until she sees the Doctor again, so no bandage changes for me! YAY! I might lose my touch! I am anxious to see the Doctor on Tuesday and hope and pray that the wounds show amazing progress. She is taking the strong antibiotics that do help with the MRSA infection. It would be such a blessing if these were healed or at least showing significant progress with a light at the end of this very long tunnel.
We rang in the New Year with a great group of friends- we met for dinner and got there by the nick of our chin after getting mom settled at home after her discharge. Was so happy to be spending the night and we really enjoyed the party- danced quite a bit and laughed a lot, it was a fun fun night.
Of course, reflecting back to the year 2012 and where I was at personally at the end of 2011, I can honestly say that I am ELATED that 2012 is over. This year was a tough year. You just never can understand what goes into caring for an aging parent unless you've done it yourself. I have had to do things for my mom this past year that I never imagined having to do, I have found that I am able to do things that I never thought that I could. It has been a year of growth for me in terms of emotional strength. In fact, my brother having seen a lot of what I do for mom sort of tossed his hands up about a week ago and shook his head and said "I don't know how you do all you do, I don't know anyone who could handle all you handle", he has sat and listened to me make the countless phone calls to Doctors or to Billing companies or to Insurance companies to make sure things are done properly. It's amazing how many people in "business" can't get things right. Even Doctors, don't get me wrong I love the team of Doctors we have at Sequoia; however, there is a reason they call it "practicing medicine". I about lost a screw when the attending Cardiologist told mom to discontinue taking the Vanco upon discharge because "that's just for c-diff", which couldn't be farther from the truth. I told mom, no- we're going to disregard that "doctor order" because we know better.
At the end of 2011, I had lost close to 30 pounds and I was feeling good. I was looking forward to going to Aulani with Diane & family in January and showing off my cute new belly button rings and cute bikinis. Now it's 2013, we are 16 days away from going to Maui and by the end of 2012 I had gained all of those 30 pounds back again plus a little bit more. I'm not at all excited about getting into a bikini or any swim attire. It's so disappointing, yet I can't beat myself up about it. I know WHY this happened and in large part it was not being able to take time to take care of ME. Yet, at the same time- because I didn't have time to go for my walks, because I was too tired to go dancing once the weekend would get here- it did force me to rest my injured foot. I know if mom's health didn't require so much of my time this past year, I would have continued to walk, to dance and probably would have ended up with foot surgery and still been laid up and probably gaining weight. I'm beginning to think that the Doctor's initial recommendation to rest was probably all I needed to do, I have not worn my orthotics in months and I'm not convinced that they ever did any good except for taking $500 from my savings account.
So I am back to square one with my weight, I went 7 years of keeping all of my weight off and the last 3 years have been such a roller coaster ride. But this past year has really been challenging. I know my diet is not the best but it's not terrible either. My main issue is that I need to MOVE more. I have had virtually zero cardio for 7 months and that is when the weight was creeping up. But the good thing about losing weight in the past, I know I can do it again. I need to get moving and I need to scale back my intake- everything in moderation. I've never subscribed to the theory of removing this or that from your diet. For some people, that works.
We went dancing at the Saddle Rack this weekend for the first time since July! Felt so good to be back, felt so good to see friends that we pretty much only see there. It was a great night. Of course, past drama came up in discussion, but I maintain that I will still be victorious in the end. I know that I have not done anything wrong, I know that my family has not done anything wrong. I know that I never subjected any mutual/common friends to the details of said drama. I know that I have never attempted to get people to take sides. Yet, there are plenty of people who have heard one side of the story (not mine), and some have decided that they have heard the truth and definitely treat us differently because of it. There is one common friend who has stood her ground that she doesn't want to know anything on either side, she loves us both and is friends with us both and I respect that and have not bent her ear on any of the details, but the other person has tried. It's a competition to her, she wants to be the chosen friend. I know that several people who have heard the other side who still remain friendly to us probably do so because they know better, but simply do not want to get involved and are probably smart enough to know that there is more than one side to a story. If someone were to ask me, I'd have no problem filling them in on the details. When people are always "the victim", things are always someone else's fault, or her third husband was not the man everyone thought he was...at some point you have to consider the source- three failed marriages by age 45 can't all be the other guys fault. Just sayin. As a 1 time divorcee, yes my ex-husband had an affair and that was wrong on every level, but I know that I had to play a part in the marriage to send him looking elsewhere. It takes two to tango, as they say. Oh well, water under the bridge. It's 2013 and this drama has been going on for way too long. I'm done thinking about it, I'm done writing about it and it's time to move on.
2013 is going to be my year, my year to lose the weight for good, my year to get moving more, my year to be happier. It's also going to be a good year for my mom. She deserves it.
Gosh, I can't believe that I have not blogged for over a month. Not for lack of thinking about it, I have had so much going through my head in the past month that I attempted to write several times but felt that my thoughts were so "all over the place" that it was just too overwhelming. Perhaps now, I can write a bit more intelligently and a bit more cohesively. We'll see, I'm going to try- but be warned that this attempt could still end up being a post that is any which way but loose.
The Holidays have always been one of my most favorite times of year and I think in large part because I am a huge traditionalist. It's not that I don't like change, I can go with the flow- but I really do love traditions. But this Holiday season was filled with a variety of things that really challenged me and my traditional self. We had our annual get togethers with my Travel Gang, with my sister's friends and our annual party with our friends. We go through great lengths to put together a really fun party for our friends. We don't entertain much throughout the year, mainly because our place just isn't that conducive for anything larger than 2-3 couples. Our house is not kid-friendly, so with most of our friends needing baby-sitters, it's just easier to go to their houses, so this one day out of the year we go all out to "treat" our friends to a nice night with a catered dinner, dancing, beverages. While I am grateful for all who attended- well between 25-30 people, I was still annoyed by the select few who are continually invited but then never come. Adding to that, they wait until the last 2-3 days to finally RSVP- really? I mean are you waiting to see what else is going to happen that night so you can pick the best offer? As a hostess who can see just how many times people view the eVite, shit or get off the pot and make up your mind if you're going to join us or not- don't lag. We give so much notice because it's important to us to have our friends attend and we want to be the first invite people get. On the flip side, I am extremely grateful and love all who attended, even the BFF who had a bit of an altercation with her BIL at the end of night that brought the fun times to a halting stop and mass exodus. S@!T happens! No use crying over broken wine glasses.
We had an absolutely AMAZING fun time in SF for Mike's 49th birthday...going out of the 40's in style in a party bus with a total of 12 fun fun people. Dinner, dancing- lots of laughs, it was a night that will go down in the history books. Diane kept saying all night how they have the best friends and we really are a great group of people- everyone gets along so well.
We had to set up our annual Gift exchange with the Yelinek sisters, usually Diane & family are on Christmas Eve, Linda & family are on Christmas Day and Janet & family are on the day after. This year we had to change things up a bit because Janet had to work the day after, so we got together the day before Christmas Eve and had a very nice dinner with her & Scott, exchanged gifts with them & Scott's kids, but Janet's kids weren't there yet, so didn't get to watch them open their gifts- but Janet did send over text pictures on Christmas of the kids (teens) with their gifts. Again, a bit of change in Tradition- but not too big of a deal.
Christmas Eve was all set to be a gift exchange with Diane & family around 3pm, then go to Church together (getting her kids to church is something I've been wanting to do for a long time) and then afterwards they were going to have a low key family night at home. But their schedule got out of whack and meeting before Church wasn't going to work and then they weren't going to make it to church at all. They ended up coming over around 10pm that night instead after dinner and after they stopped by another friend's house. I went with the flow, what I always do- but I was upset that plans had changed and felt a bit like we were pushed to the back burner. We still had a good time. After they left, Bill & I did our gift exchange & watched a movie and then crashed earlier than we normally do on Christmas Eve. Although my mom did come to church with me and stayed for dinner (Steve's famous Spaghetti dinner)- I did miss our tradition of opening gifts with mom and watching "White Christmas" together with Bailey's Coffee. We kept thinking we'd watch it the next day, but it never happened. I have NEVER gone a year without watching "White Christmas". Sad.
Christmas Day was EASY. Tradition once again- changed. Bill has been after me for years to change up the menu and this year we finally did Prime Rib and I will give Bill props because it was the easiest meal. I made a crock pot cream corn that was delish, made creamed spinach, rolls, mashed potatoes and it was a very good meal. In fact, I enjoyed my meal that night. Usually, with Turkey- I enjoy the leftovers, but don't enjoy the actual meal. Linda came over and was running late, but we did gifts with her girls and visited for a little bit and then my sister, Roger and mom arrived and we started doing our family gifts. Felt weird to send mom "home" because she usually spends the night- so another tradition that has changed forever. Aside from the fact that we don't have a guest room anymore, she would never be able to get up the stairs in her condition.
The next day Bill had to work, so I taught a 6am class and then mom wasn't feeling quite up to going to the movie- something we always do the day after Christmas, so that tradition was tweaked this year. I ended up relaxing most of the day and then taught class that evening. It was still good.
I think I really realized and I think my mom even realized that this might have been her last Christmas with us. I know she is worried about me and how I will be when she's gone. If I had blogged 1-2 days after Christmas, I would have said that it was our last Christmas with mom & I was having a hard time with that realization, but today I'm not so sure about that. She really is related to the Energizer Bunny!
Mom did end up in the hospital again before 2012 would end. She had been showing signs of shortness of breath before Christmas and I was keeping a close eye on it and asking her questions about it- but I didn't push and neither did she- I would presume that we both didn't want her to be in the hospital for Christmas. So 12/28 we went to the Doctors, tests were ordered and by 4pm, she was in the ER being admitted with fluid in her lungs and very low iron levels. Sigh. Fortunately, she was released on 12/31- just in time to ring in the new year at HOME! She was sent home with 2 more prescriptions and oxygen at night. She seems to have accepted the Oxygen at night and the more research that I do, I am convinced that her shortness of breath was brought on by the low iron, so I am hoping that her breathing will be much better once the iron levels are up to where they need to be. Her moods have been up and down, but the past couple of days I am seeing signs of her returning to her happy self. We finally went to the "after Christmas Day" movie yesterday and loved it.
We got some bad news right after the New Years, mom's favorite Doctor (Gillon) was in a car accident and is off for 4-6 weeks! I sort of felt like our footing got pulled out from under us. But she referred us to a Surgeon friend of hers and we met with him this past week. He decided to try a different bandaging technique since the two wounds, although almost healed- they are taking their sweet ass time in healing. The beauty of this bandage- it's on for a week until she sees the Doctor again, so no bandage changes for me! YAY! I might lose my touch! I am anxious to see the Doctor on Tuesday and hope and pray that the wounds show amazing progress. She is taking the strong antibiotics that do help with the MRSA infection. It would be such a blessing if these were healed or at least showing significant progress with a light at the end of this very long tunnel.
We rang in the New Year with a great group of friends- we met for dinner and got there by the nick of our chin after getting mom settled at home after her discharge. Was so happy to be spending the night and we really enjoyed the party- danced quite a bit and laughed a lot, it was a fun fun night.
Of course, reflecting back to the year 2012 and where I was at personally at the end of 2011, I can honestly say that I am ELATED that 2012 is over. This year was a tough year. You just never can understand what goes into caring for an aging parent unless you've done it yourself. I have had to do things for my mom this past year that I never imagined having to do, I have found that I am able to do things that I never thought that I could. It has been a year of growth for me in terms of emotional strength. In fact, my brother having seen a lot of what I do for mom sort of tossed his hands up about a week ago and shook his head and said "I don't know how you do all you do, I don't know anyone who could handle all you handle", he has sat and listened to me make the countless phone calls to Doctors or to Billing companies or to Insurance companies to make sure things are done properly. It's amazing how many people in "business" can't get things right. Even Doctors, don't get me wrong I love the team of Doctors we have at Sequoia; however, there is a reason they call it "practicing medicine". I about lost a screw when the attending Cardiologist told mom to discontinue taking the Vanco upon discharge because "that's just for c-diff", which couldn't be farther from the truth. I told mom, no- we're going to disregard that "doctor order" because we know better.
At the end of 2011, I had lost close to 30 pounds and I was feeling good. I was looking forward to going to Aulani with Diane & family in January and showing off my cute new belly button rings and cute bikinis. Now it's 2013, we are 16 days away from going to Maui and by the end of 2012 I had gained all of those 30 pounds back again plus a little bit more. I'm not at all excited about getting into a bikini or any swim attire. It's so disappointing, yet I can't beat myself up about it. I know WHY this happened and in large part it was not being able to take time to take care of ME. Yet, at the same time- because I didn't have time to go for my walks, because I was too tired to go dancing once the weekend would get here- it did force me to rest my injured foot. I know if mom's health didn't require so much of my time this past year, I would have continued to walk, to dance and probably would have ended up with foot surgery and still been laid up and probably gaining weight. I'm beginning to think that the Doctor's initial recommendation to rest was probably all I needed to do, I have not worn my orthotics in months and I'm not convinced that they ever did any good except for taking $500 from my savings account.
So I am back to square one with my weight, I went 7 years of keeping all of my weight off and the last 3 years have been such a roller coaster ride. But this past year has really been challenging. I know my diet is not the best but it's not terrible either. My main issue is that I need to MOVE more. I have had virtually zero cardio for 7 months and that is when the weight was creeping up. But the good thing about losing weight in the past, I know I can do it again. I need to get moving and I need to scale back my intake- everything in moderation. I've never subscribed to the theory of removing this or that from your diet. For some people, that works.
We went dancing at the Saddle Rack this weekend for the first time since July! Felt so good to be back, felt so good to see friends that we pretty much only see there. It was a great night. Of course, past drama came up in discussion, but I maintain that I will still be victorious in the end. I know that I have not done anything wrong, I know that my family has not done anything wrong. I know that I never subjected any mutual/common friends to the details of said drama. I know that I have never attempted to get people to take sides. Yet, there are plenty of people who have heard one side of the story (not mine), and some have decided that they have heard the truth and definitely treat us differently because of it. There is one common friend who has stood her ground that she doesn't want to know anything on either side, she loves us both and is friends with us both and I respect that and have not bent her ear on any of the details, but the other person has tried. It's a competition to her, she wants to be the chosen friend. I know that several people who have heard the other side who still remain friendly to us probably do so because they know better, but simply do not want to get involved and are probably smart enough to know that there is more than one side to a story. If someone were to ask me, I'd have no problem filling them in on the details. When people are always "the victim", things are always someone else's fault, or her third husband was not the man everyone thought he was...at some point you have to consider the source- three failed marriages by age 45 can't all be the other guys fault. Just sayin. As a 1 time divorcee, yes my ex-husband had an affair and that was wrong on every level, but I know that I had to play a part in the marriage to send him looking elsewhere. It takes two to tango, as they say. Oh well, water under the bridge. It's 2013 and this drama has been going on for way too long. I'm done thinking about it, I'm done writing about it and it's time to move on.
2013 is going to be my year, my year to lose the weight for good, my year to get moving more, my year to be happier. It's also going to be a good year for my mom. She deserves it.
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