My left foot!

Yesterday I had the MRI on my foot, today I met with the Doctor for the results.  It seems that I have a degenerative ligament.   As for treatment, he modified my inserts, gave me some pads for my other shoes that the inserts don't fit - like my flip flops and dance boots.  He wants me to go to Physical Therapy twice a week for four weeks and see if they can strengthen the other ligaments in my foot so that this degenerative one is not further damaged.  He seems to think that surgery is inevitable and that it's just a question of when.  I'm not a fan of any surgery, so I will try whatever I need to and hopefully get my foot back to normal or at least get rid of the pain.   The Doctor also suggested that I try the Sketchers Shape Up shoes because they will alleviate the pressure on my toes, it's the action of flexing my foot that hurts the most.  So even though I think the shoes are mostly ugly and that there have been a lot of negative press on them, I ordered a pair tonight.  Again, whatever it takes for my foot to heal!

I said a few weeks ago that I was finally taking care of me and this was part of it, but I don't want to experience set backs.  I am getting into a groove with fitness again, I'm feeling weight starting to fall off again.  I taught two Spin classes and one Body Pump in the last two days- it felt great.  In fact,  I put together a new playlist for Spin and it was such a GREAT playlist!   I'm subbing several classes in the coming month- a few conditioning classes at Pacific Sports Resort, a few spin classes at Gold's and then my normal Body Pump classes.  I'm signed up for Body Pump AIM in a few weeks, so I can't let this injury take me down!  I have plans, I have things to accomplish.

I am tracking my food once again- or at least trying to.  I have been super hungry- probably in part to my metabolism boosting with the additional workouts and PMS!  I have an addiction to Mother's Double Fudge cookies and I cannot buy them anymore.  I finally did the point calculation and 2 cookies are 5 points!!  Yikes!   Other than that, I am doing pretty well.   I've been really busy, so I have not been able to get into my eating groove completely, but I am no longer eating on the run- well except for Sunday when Bill & I were pressed for time between packing up mom's house and meeting at my brother's to continue packing and moving him out...so it was a Taco Bell lunch!

This week is flying by and I still have so much to accomplish, but I will persevere I think!  I would love to stay up and finish things tonight, but I am really tired and must get up early to get things done before a morning of hair appointments for me & mom, then lunch, then Doctor appointment for Mom!   Still no answer on the treatment for her big toe.  It really is looking a lot better, but we'll see what the Doctor says.

Looking forward to the weekend- which as far as fun begins tomorrow night- well I guess that is tonight since it's almost 1am.   Daughtry concert tonight in S.F.,  then Sugarland concert Friday night,  Saturday is the "girls day of fun" in Livermore/Pleasanton to play Bocce Ball, have lunch and see a movie.  Sunday, I think taking mom to bingo is in order and then having the family over to celebrate Rob's birthday- which is officially today- he is now 17 years old!  Gosh, I feel so old!

Had a "small world" moment this week.  In trying to get mom to feel more "at home" in Redwood City, I've been trying to encourage her to attend church at the local Catholic Parish.  She is interested.  I wanted to check the clergy roster at St. Pius and saw the Pastor listed as Rev. Paul Rossi.  Well, back in grammar school, we had a Fr. Rossi, he was a Deacon - so new to the priesthood.  I did some inquiring and found out that this is the same Fr. Rossi!   How crazy is that?  Mom was excited to have this "connection" to her new Parish and seems excited to get to church and to check out their Senior Club which meets on Fridays.

Emotions running high...

This has been a pretty crazy week- but then welcome to my life, when is my life not crazy?!   Mom is doing well, she had two Doctor appointments yesterday to the Vascular Specialist and today to meet her new Primary Care Physician.    The Vascular Specialist confirmed that mom's big toe infection is MRSA- which is a very stubborn bacterial infection.  We are waiting for the Infectious Disease Specialist to determine the best way to treat the infection.  The good news however, the Doctor was very pleased with progress on the toe - I received a huge compliment from the Doctor and she said she had no doubt that the progress on the toe was due to family taking care of the dressing changes.  It makes my 1-2 visits per day all worth it if we can see positive progress and have mom keep her big toe!   She is in a lot of pain though and the Doctor is still adamant about her not taking any more narcotic pain medication.   So mom is self-medicating with a second glass of wine before bed!  Today the Primary Care Doctor suggested that mom cut back on the wine so that she won't damage her heart lining anymore than it already is.  Mom's reaction to that,  "I'm at peace and ready to die whenever and until that happens, I am enjoying my wine".  Poor Doctor, she got the wrath of Pat - but she understood too.  Mom has had to give up so much these past few months.  It really can't be easy on her, but she is adjusting.    Her biggest complaint about WT is that all the people are old and dying and not interesting.  She doesn't associate herself with these people, you gotta love that.  But I do get it, there are some who are just "blah" for lack of a more intelligent word.   But she is meeting some people who are more interesting and she plans to get out to some local coffee shops so that she can become a "local".  She also wants to check out the local Catholic Church, I'd love for her to get involved with Redeemer so we can introduce her to some of the older Parishioners there, but I don't think she's ready to convert yet.  :) 

Yesterday was her 83rd birthday!  A day that at times this year, I really thought she would not be with us to celebrate.   It was nice to celebrate.  We took her out to dinner to our local favorite Italian Place with my brother and nephews - we all had a good meal and afterwards the staff came out with her birthday cake and the two candles and the entire restaurant sang "Happy Birthday" to her, she was in tears.   It was a very emotional night and we all sort of teared up when my brother arrived and had a bouquet of carnations from his yard.  He has always loved Carnations and has had these plants in his yard for decades.  His attitude was, "I'm not going to leave them for the new owners" and I don't blame him.  But the flowers are a sad reminder of the house that is not his anymore, well as soon as escrow closes next week.   I know that my mom went to bed crying last night, crying for her one and only son who is dealing with such hard times, who really has had tough times for the last 7 years - it's just not fair.  I find myself asking often, "why do bad things happen to good people?" - is it because they can handle it?    I just don't know.  Then I think of "Thing One" & "Thing Two" - the two people who have been very instrumental in putting him in this screwed place and am just dumbfounded.   "Thing One"-  ultimately she's not a bad person, she's sick and I think she definitely has her own hell to live with.  But, "Thing Two"- she is just pure evil and I don't care how "hard" her life seems to everyone that she cries "poor me" to, it is all an act.  She is a great actress & plays the victim role well.  I have come to my own place of peace about both of these women...it's time to move on for all of us.  No time for negativity or drama in my life.  

I had a self-indulgent morning today- I layed in bed for an hour and read my book- I can't even begin to remember when I last did something like that.  It was wonderful, in fact I am almost done with my book and am tempted to crawl into bed and read some more now- of course hard to do with Bill sleeping and the lighting in the bedroom at night is not conducive to reading in bed! 

TGIF!  Technically, it is midnight and a new day! 

Starting to take care of me!

Things, I think are finally settling down with mom.  She is at Woodside Terrace and hopefully things will continue to get better for her.  The only gray area right now is her big toe- which is pretty nasty, the bone is exposed, she has a bone infection and we are waiting for culture results to determine the course of action.  Antibiotics are not ideal since she is prone to the C-diff infection, so it could be a long course of cleaning the wound out and getting the bacteria out manually so skin can grow over the bone  or amputate the toe.  Time will tell.   She has had her lonely, depressing moments at Woodside Terrace and yesterday even said that she really wanted a cigarette.  She says she's going to ask the Doctor if she can have 1-2 cigarettes a day.  I just about lost it and gave her an ear full!   Today she was better.  I've been doing her bandage changes and although the toe looks gross, I think it is looking better - but what do I know?   Nurse Horst is my new hobby!  

Tonight I went to play bingo with her at WT, I was the youngest person in the room, it was pretty funny to watch some of them and the interactions.  We didn't win, but I think mom had fun.  I thought I was going to be killed by these seniors when I accidentally knocked over my glass of water and they stopped calling numbers so I could clean it up.  Don't mess with bingo at the Senior Home!!   Mom says that tomorrow she is going to participate with the exercise classes, so I think that will be good for her to meet others who are active or want to be active.  She is making some friends, but she came from environments at skilled nursing and hospitals where people were poking their head into her room often, she now needs to poke her head out of her room more often.

Today I made a few more Doctor appointments for mom, I had my dentist cleaning this morning and not surprising, but they want me to consult with the periodontist.  Gum disease runs in the family and my mother, brother, sister have all gone through hell with their teeth/gums-waiting to find out when he will be in the office next.  Ugh.  Sounds like possibly pretty gross surgical procedures- I will need to be  seriously medicated for that!   I lined up an eye Doctor for mom, I need to get a referral from her Primary Doctor- and since we see her this week, I feel prepared.  Luckily, I found a Retina Specialist office in her medical group and she is eager to get to the eye doctor.  It has been months and she usually gets a shot in her eye every couple of months to keep her sight.   Hopefully, we can get her in the first week of June.

I did a small walk today, house to dentist, dentist to Woodside Terrace and WT to home.  less than 45 minutes total and my foot was really hurting.  It's extremely frustrating because I am ready to get back into my full workouts and this is holding me back.  I called today to finally have my follow up appointment regarding my inserts.  I hope it's something simple, I'm not ready to agree to foot surgery- so may have to get second opinions and perhaps see what the chiropractor can do.  Later tonight after my second Body Pump class, my ankle was really sore - yesterday after our massages the therapist had commented on how she thought my ankles was tight.  Maybe I will book another massage to help work things out.  I know that lunges did not help my foot- it seriously still hurts.  It is so true though that when your feet hurt, the rest of your body is toast!   So we'll see what happens Friday at the Doctor.

So today, I started logging my food on Weight Watchers again- it had been since March and I also logged in my Friday Weight- up 11 pounds from the last time I logged -back in February...guess considering all that I've been going through and the crazy driving all over, eating on the run, that's not too terrible, but I hate it!  So time to re-focus, re-commit and lose this weight.  Today I began measuring portions again.    I taught 2 Body Pump classes and walked 45 minutes- it felt good (other than the injuries) and I really need to continue this- so please foot/ankle don't fail me now!

I also signed up for Body Pump AIM 1 training- the Advanced Instructor Module is a full day of learning how to be a better instructor, getting expert advice and mentoring from the trainers - I'm excited.  I've wanted to do this for two years now, but the dates so few and far between never worked for me and my crazy schedule of life!   I am also thrilled that the training is on Body Pump 81- probably my favorite release in a long time and one that I feel I know VERY well, so getting ready for that day should be relatively easy- I can at least not over think choreography.  So another positive step in my Fitness Career.  I have some other steps in mind, but they are going to have to wait for now.

Life as I know it will be changing quite a bit next week.  My brother, his two teenagers and cat will be moving in with us temporarily (oh and three computers).  His house closes but because there is a bankruptcy involved, he doesn't get proceeds until at least 30 days after closing.  How does the government expect people to do this- I mean you're in bankruptcy for a reason, so now you're homeless and have to wait 30+ days to get money to move on--really annoying.  Anyway, Bill & I did major spring cleaning on our closets and drawars- I still have a bit more to complete, but we have 16 bags of donations that I need to bring in later this week.  Bill is such a trooper and an amazing support to me and my family.  I really struck GOLD with him, completely blessed.  Trying to figure out how to celebrate our Anniversary this year- since we will have a full house, I really want to get out of town and have some alone time- but also don't want to miss my classes- sort of hard to do this with a Saturday and Monday morning class.  Tahoe, Bodega Bay, Yosemite, Old Sacramento, Napa, Carmel- all places we're tossing around.   So this Memorial Day weekend- we will be helping my brother pack and move things into storage.  It would be fabulous if he gets his offer accepted for a new piece of land...we are waiting.

I really do feel like things are starting to turn around in all areas of my life with me and my family-I have been praying extra hard and seriously handing it over to God.  I know it's all in HIS time, HE has a plan and I just have to be patient and realize that there is nothing that I can do.  So now I should have gotten a ton of work done tonight, but just way too pooped, so I am going to get to bed and get up early.  At least that is what I am hoping to do.

Nice Surprise...

Today was a very hectic day.  I got up early so that I could get some work in before heading to SF, I had a sneaking suspicion that once I left my office today it would be awhile before I returned.  Even in the best of circumstances, I was going to get back about 4pm and then have to leave again an hour later.  Well, it was much crazier.    Before I left my office though, Bill's sister had messaged me asking for my phone number because she was having something delivered to me and they would not take the order without the phone number.  I was intrigued, but didn't have time to ponder on this.

I left my house and didn't get back until 830pm!   Picked up mom, took her to get her hair cut in Belmont, then we had lunch- her 230pm Doctor appointment was moved to 3pm, so we didn't get done with that until almost 4pm.  I then had an urgent travel booking to finalize before taking mom back to SF.  Once she was dropped off close to 530pm, I ran by her house to pick up a few things and then headed back to Redwood City to meet my brother at Costco so he could purchase everything for Redeemer's Family Fun Day this weekend - an annual BBQ that he has organized and ran for years now.   Once we finished there, I then had stops at the bank, CVS, Lucky's and then Lucia's to pick up dinner!   Dinner was not ready- well the order never made it to the pizza maker, so I had to wait- which wasn't all bad, they treated me to a glass of wine for my inconvenience.   Quite the whirlwind day!

When I stopped home for the brief client moment, I had flowers that had been delivered to my next door neighbor with the nicest card,  "Just letting you know that a great daughter you are, wish there was more people like you.  Love Debbie and Stan"  ~ Bill's sister and her husband.  I had tears in my eyes.   You certainly don't do all the things that I have been doing for my mom to get recognition like that, but it was really a sweet thing and felt good to be validated in a way- that what I am doing is good.  Later along in my travels today I ran into my friend Dianne at Lucky's and in talking to her we were talking about things with my brother and she chimed in that "your brother is so lucky to have a sister like you".  Both unexpected, unsolicited comments/actions that made me feel very good and positive about life.  The bottom line- I have always been one to put family first and do whatever I can for my family.  It's just how we were raised. Period.  It really tugs at me when I can't help or don't have the answers or my best is not good enough.

Anyway, today was a good day.  As for mom and the infamous big toe - they have taken a culture of the bone so that they can determine the nature of the infection/bacteria and determine what treatment makes most sense.  They really don't want to treat with antibiotics due to the C-diff susceptibility.  They aren't rushing towards amputation either - so time will tell.   The Doctor seemed very pleased that i would be the one doing the dressing changes and she was all in favor of mom leaving the Jewish Home and moving back into Woodside Terrace - so tomorrow is release day.   Mom is very excited to get out of there- it's been a good place and she has been taken care of well- but it's not a lively place- there are a lot of people much worse off than she and she really is really to get on with life- which is a great sign!

TGIF...it's going to be a very busy weekend...!

Changes up ahead...hopefully nothing but positiveness!

It has been a very eventful two weeks and even though I was gone for 8 days on "vacation", I am still very exhausted.  Bill is exhausted as well, so I think in part it is allergies- we are never plagued with allergies when we are away, but as soon as we return home they flare up!   But it was an exhausting vacation, but I did manage to find some balance to enjoy the cruise, enjoy the conference and get some rest.   We danced every night, we saw every show, we had about 4 days out in the sunshine, we slept in every morning, never once making it to breakfast- which is typical since most nights we were going to bed around 2-3am!  The Oasis of the Seas was awesome and I can't wait to cruise on her or Allure of the Seas again.  I have yet to write my review, hopefully this weekend I will have a chance to get that done.

Since being back, work has been crazy and add to that multiple doctor appointments this week for mom, which entails driving to S.F. to pick her up, back to RWC for the appointment, back to S.F. to drop her off and then finally back home in RWC.   As a result, I've been staying up late to get work done, albeit not too successfully when supplier sites go down for maintenance at these hours.  I was so exhausted that I crawled into bed around 5pm today and was knocked out until 630pm.   I have taught two Body Pump classes this week and if felt so GREAT to be back teaching- I really do miss it when I'm gone and it was so nice to have such welcoming students saying that they missed me, even though I left them in very good hands.  It was a wonderful surprise to see that two of my regulars from Fitness 101 joined Gold's and were in my class on Thursday- felt like a very fun reunion!   I am very sore having not pumped in two weeks, but it's a great type of soreness!  I am hoping to get back to walking tomorrow morning.   No time like the present.  I need to commit to my own fitness schedule and get myself back on track.  I need to start tracking my food once again- something that I have not done in months it seems.   Time to make some changes.  I am also going to sign up to go to AIM 1 training in June.  Finally, I think I can make the schedule work!

Mom is doing pretty well over all, she has excelled with her Physical Therapy and is walking sometimes without the walker and when they had her walking with a cane the other day- she was not really using it- so she is definitely a lot stronger and fitter.  She is enjoying her time at the gym.  In fact, her P.T. is done as of yesterday- Medicare will only pay so much, but she still has access to the gym for her own workouts and she went today on her own!  Love it!  The test for C-diff came back today negative- so this is great news meaning she can return to Woodside Terrace.  She has two more doses of the antibiotic so we are shooting for Friday for that transfer.    Her leg is healing well, but the big toe does have an infection in the bone and we are waiting to see the course of action.  We met with a specialist today who has to confer with the Vascular Doctor to determine what is best.  Worst case scenario is amputation of the toe, so we'll see.  They would like to treat her with antibiotics, but it's so challenging with her and the proneness to C-diff!   I almost think she would rather amputate vs. risk getting C-diff again!

She had a wonderful Mother's Day.  We had a full day at my brothers, my sister brought over mom's china/silverware/crystal and we BBQ'd steaks that were delicious- had many of mom's favorite foods and she was in tears twice- once when she saw the table set with her china and again when she opened up her lifesize Mother's Day card with a big Rose on it.  She has gotten so many compliments on that card from the staff at the Jewish Home as it sits on display in her room.  All in all, a great day for her- but a sad day for the family since it was the last family party in my brother's home.  A home that he & my dad built together back in 1987.  Lots of memories in that house.   My brother's bankruptcy is pretty much settled, his house is sold (not for what we wanted to start fresh), but at least there is some closure.

So the next few weeks will involve a lot of moving- mom to Woodside Terrace, then at the beginning of June her "stuff" into her own apartment.  My brother & nephews need to move by the end of the month and there is a lot of uncertainty with that plan right now...but I am trying to remain faithful that everything will work out.  There is a plan for him, we just have to see what God has in store for him.   Patience, I know- a recurring theme for me.   I am really hoping that by mid-summer all will be well with the Harper family.  I know I tend to underestimate "timing"- so it probably won't happen until the end of the year- so bring on 2013!

3 Months!

Today has been three months since mom's ordeal started.  Hard to believe, in so many ways it seems like an eternity longer!  Yet, I can still rattle off all the important dates on this journey off the top of my head.  In any case, things are going very well!  Mom's therapy is doing wonders for her physical abilities- she is walking distances that she has not walked in a long time and not getting any short of breath.  She does have some pain in her leg- but it's not fully healed, that is normal.   She is getting visits from her friends April & Anita and that has completely cheered up her spirits.  No more doom & gloom, no more depression- she seems happy and is very determined to get well 100%!

She had her first post-hospital appointment with the Vascular Doctor and she cleaned up the wounds a little bit today.  The surgery wound no longer needs bandages.  The leg wound is almost healed- about 95% there and the big toe has a ways to go, but it is better.  Her foot has been swollen a bit, so they ordered an x-ray to make sure there isn't any infection in the bone.  Otherwise, everything was very positive and the Doctor just loved my mom's attitude.  My sister, mom & I went out to lunch afterwards and it was wonderful to see mom "out" in the real world for the first time in three months!  Her eyes lit up when she saw her Shrimp Louie Salad come and she immediately said "oh boy, I'm going to eat it all!"- well we know her eyes are much bigger than her stomach, she has leftovers for tomorrow, but she enjoyed it so much..along with a glass of wine to reward her for the pain involved at the Doctor's office. 

I can honestly say that I feel at peace going away today (yes today, flight leaves in 4.5 hours and I have not gone to bed yet)- we fly to Florida and spend the night and tomorrow embark on the Oasis of the Seas.  I had been stressing about being so "out of touch" if mom's condition wasn't stable and positive, but I feel very good about her condition now and hope to hear that she is back at Woodside Terrace by the time I get home.  I can't believe it will be Mother's Day when I return...time sure does fly by so quickly!   Looking forward to this vacation, I desperately need it.  I may not get the complete benefit from the Conference, don't think my brain can handle all the information right now, so I'll do what I can but I am going to make sure I get a lot of exercise, dancing and sleep! 

College Bound!

Just returned from Rochester, NY and after a very full day at R.I.T., Michael has decided that this is where he wants to go for college.  Interestingly enough, not for Mechanical Engineering which was his front running major choice, but for Motion Picture Science.   Sort of a chain of events, but when he had applied to RIT, he has put in Computer Science and 1st choice and they did not give an option for 2nd choice.  Since that application, he realized that Mechanical Engineering was the preferred choice, but he could not switch that on the application.  He was accepted into the Computer Science, but when he asked to change they could only waitlist him for Mechanical, but he looked at some other programs and stumbled upon the Motion Picture Science program.

Now his father and I were both a bit skeptical about this field, so I was very happy to have had a meeting with the Department Head and he explained how this relatively new major at RIT came to be and it is very much a combination of the Arts & Engineering.  In fact, they wanted to call it Motion Picture Engineering, but NY State has a lot of bureaucratic stuff that Universities must go through to call something "Engineering".   Both the department heads have Engineering degrees themselves and recognize the importance of an Engineer "brain" in the world of Imaging.  This is a program that I think will be very good for Michael because he loves to "tinker" with stuff, he loves to "fix" things, he loves to "problem solve"- all of these are classic Engineer traits.   On the other hand, he loves to work with sound, lights, video production & editing.  So this will allow him to have a nice blend of both worlds.   As for job prospects- the Major has a 99% job placement rate for graduates and the graduates are working in so many different related fields making anywhere from $35-70K a year, the ones on the Engineering side of Imaging making the higher salaries.  

I knew once we met with the Director that Michael was going to pick R.I.T. and that he would pick this major.  But I didn't say anything.  We had our afternoon meeting with the Mechanical Engineering department head and although he had a lot of good information, I picked up on a somewhat negative attitude from him when he found that the "other" major Michael was considering was Motion Picture Science.  After some more conversation, it became clear that he really didn't know anything about the program, but certainly had an opinion about it- or rather an opinion that Mechanical Engineering was a better program.  I was a bit turned off by that- seems that Michael was also.

The campus is beautiful- spread out, but didn't feel that bad and for 18,000 students, you'd never know it, never once felt crowded at all.   I think this was the better choice and I'm excited for him and also a little sad- it's going to be lonely around here without him and I know that his dad is going to have a really tough time letting his first-born head off to college.  I know he's going to be 19 years old, but damn- it's so far away from home!   Fortunately, airfares to Rochester are better than Alaska, so we should be able to bring him home for holidays.   Will be building up the United miles again! 

It is time for me to get to bed...we got home much later than planned since our 630pm flight to Chicago was delayed 2 hours, they then re-routed us on a 515pm flight through Newark, but security was slow and we missed that flight and ended up on a 750pm through Dulles.  At least they gave us Economy Plus seats on that flight for our hassles.   Watched a movie and finished my book and it was still a long flight!