New Year, New Beginning and to be cliche- New Me! I'm overdue!
2020 was not kind to me. My Travel Business came to a stand-still, I lost more earned money than ever before. I do not have any hope of making money until late 2021 and even that is shaky at this point. Seems every day we get another blow. This past week was a new CDC requirement for travelers to test negative before flying back to the USA. Enough already!
My fitness career also came to a stand-still. Gyms had to close with the pandemic and even though my home club, the JCC has re-opened with outdoor classes, there are very few and they are not Les Mills. During the course of the year, the JCC "broke up" with their management company, so we are all supposed to be employees of the JCC now, I completed everything but never heard a thing. I don't even receive instructor emails anymore. I spoke to another instructor who I know does not want to get back to teaching until the pandemic is gone or at least controlled with vaccines & she was told that she's on the sub list. I kept procrastinating getting in touch with my Director about this but of course began all of the negative self-talk. "They don't want me", "I'm not good enough to teach there", "I'm too fat", "I'm not fit enough"--the list goes on. At this point, I'm going to let it ride. I don't know when/if they will bring back the classes that I teach and I'm not sure that I'm ready to go back to teaching with masks, etc. At this point in time, I am fat and I am not fit. 2020 was not kind.
All of this being said, we have a new beginning this year and that will be a move to Reno, NV. Bill's work is relocating and we decided to take on the new adventure. Of course, I am also a realist and given that he's worked there for 32 years and is currently our sole supporter financially, it makes sense. We are both excited about this & have put a deposit down on a new build in an Active 55+ Adult community. It's really time to get back on track. Honestly, the physical aspect of moving might kill me (not quite literally) but I am so out of shape and not very strong anymore, it's pathetic. I weigh the heaviest that I have ever weighed. EVER. I don't eat right, I drink too much wine and I am not exercising.
Eating: probably the least part of the problem. I am aware of what I am eating, I just don't think I'm being consistent or on a good schedule. I wake up and usually have my coffee first and then I'm not really hungry for hours, then I get my Isagenix shake, maybe a decent snack later in the day and then it's too close to dinnertime. We normally cook something decent for dinner and I eat small portions. But I do act out. I will have chips, cookies, ice cream, etc. Not all of the time, but if I splurge I'm all in.
Wine: well the drinking starts in the evening and I often will drink a bottle over the course of 4-5 hours. Honestly, it's not a terrible amount but I should not be doing this every night. I get bored or I get depressed and then I don't care and it becomes this vicious circle. I have tried and been successful to limit the drinking to 2-3 days a week and that's what I need to get back to. OR restrict myself to 2 glasses per night. I know what I need to do, I know that I can do it and I think I am finally at the point where I want to do it.
Exercise: with all the free time that I have, you'd think I would be going for 4-5 mile walks every day (like I used to when I was busy), you'd think that I would do BodyPump, Combat or Flow in the living room to one of my training videos but I lack serious motivation. As for the walking, I think I need to delete the Citizen App from my phone. I get alerts of all sorts of crazy crimes going on in the neighborhood, I don't know if it's because of the pandemic and people are desperate but I'm just not comfy going walking by myself like I once was. I did have a good spree of dancing in the living room but then I got burned out with that and it's just not the same as dancing with my friends. I have probably worked out (including dancing) maybe 30 days in the last 10 months. Maybe. I know it'll be hard to get going again but I also know once I get going, I will feel energized and will get back into the routine.
Sleep & TV & Social Media: though I track my sleep and most nights I am getting enough sleep: 7-8 hours per night, I stay up way too late. I am a night owl, this I know. I have always been a night owl, but I need to start going to bed earlier so that I can get up earlier and drink my shake, attack my workout and then have my coffee. I need to develop the good routine that I once had. I waste hours late at night watching the game show network & scrolling around on Social Media. Good Lord. Obviously, this is all new since the pandemic because I don't have anything to get up early for--but I really do, I need to get up earlier for me. It would be one thing if I was staying up late to work on trip quotes or catching up on paperwork!
I know when I exercise, I make better choices with food and alcohol. I want to lose at least 50 pounds before we move, it would be even better to lose 70 pounds by then. I think that would put me at a very comfortable weight. It's still not my Wedding Day weight, but it would still be a healthy weight and good size for me. Though I had body image issues when I was teaching classes. Over the last few years, I experienced weight gain due to Menopause (twice), I think I'm over that hurdle by now but now the weight gain is covid weight gain and lack of lifting weights means that I've lost muscle mass, so I am fat and flabby. I usually like to say fluffy but I'm beyond fluffy. I was sitting on the guest room bed the other day while the house cleaners were cleaning my office. I was in direct view of the full mirrored closet doors- OH EMMMM GEEEEE! Not pretty, it was disgusting if I'm being really honest with myself.
I am coming up on the renewal of my ACE Primary fitness certification and my CPR (which is required to renew the CPR), I've considered letting it lapse and hang up my teaching hat, but doing that means that I am doing it because Covid happened, not because I decided to stop teaching. Today I looked up online to see where there might be Les Mills classes close to where we will be living in Reno. I discovered that there is an Athletic Club about 10 minutes away that offers just about every Les Mills format. I decided to be brave and posted in the LM Instructor group on Facebook to see if anyone taught at this club or knew anything about this club. Well, the Group Exercise Director messaged me & another well-respected industry friend of 20 years chimed in on the post. I feel good about this and having hope to teach again will help to get me back on track, will keep me focused. I know that teaching kept me accountable with my own healthy choices and it also did wonders to my mental health. There is no way that I will audition to teach at a new club in the current state of my body!
I just want to feel good and healthy again. Once we do get to Reno, I want to feel in shape, I want to go line dancing and fit into my cute jeans and cute tops. I have not been to a Ross store in over a year. I've had no need! I want to get back into my cute bikinis since we will have a Community pool, it's an Active Community- I want to be Active. I also want to feel as though I can go hiking and exploring around Nevada. As we make new friends and start doing things with others, I don't want to be that person that holds everyone up because she can't keep up. I have always been the one that people couldn't keep up with!!
The time is now. I need to do this for myself. I want to enjoy our new adventure. I want to get back to having a purpose and right now my purpose is to get back in shape to make the move as easy as possible and to get back to teaching. I think I will have plenty of free time for the next 1-2 years until my business fully recovers or comes close to recovered. I can't continue to eat cookies, ice cream, chips, popcorn and drink wine and expect to be healthy! Behaviors need to be reframed. The time is NOW.
