Reflections.....& Goodbyes...

It is now "college eve", as much as I've been excited for Michael to go away to college, I have found myself getting teary-eyed often these past few days just thinking of him going away and thinking of the "good-bye" scene that will happen when I leave and come home.  I have NEVER been good at good-byes and I am seriously going to miss that kid!    Last night I printed the booklets that tell us what our schedules will be for the next few days - tried to see where we overlap and where we have our own activities for Orientation.  It looks like my good-bye will be 7pm Thursday night.  He has Resident Hall meetings from 7-10pm and I fly home at 8am Friday.

I've had many discussions with my brother lately and he is really going to have a tough time letting his first born go.  I totally get it.  Michael is a great kid, a fantastic son and such a bright young man with such an exciting future ahead of him.  We are all so excited for him, so proud of him and probably a little jealous of him at the same time because he gets to do something we never did - going away to college.   Just the thought scares me and that is why I didn't go away to college.  It's a huge step.   It takes a mature young man to make this decision to move that far away from home.

I had posted on something yesterday and made a comment of how I've been getting teary-eyed this week and how "I'm not even the mom".  Today my sister emailed me to let me know that "for all intents and purposes, I am the mom and we're both lucky".   I am lucky that I've been able to be a mother role for Michael these past years - a natural fit since I don't have kids and in reality he doesn't have a mother - his "real mother" doesn't seem to give a rats ass and that still really bothers me.   I just don't get how a parent can give birth and then desert their child - how does that happen?  how is that acceptable in ones mind?   Ugh.

It's 10pm and my brother and nephew are still washing all the linens and such to pack for our trip- we only leave the house in 8 hours, but whose counting!    Gee, who suggested that stuff be washed a week ago?   Pam the planner!

Well, looking forward to the next couple of days-- it's going to be fun!