The Health "Uncare" System...
 
So this afternoon I get a call from mom's case manager and they inform me that the PT & OT are done with mom as of Thursday & Friday this week and guess what, she is to be discharged FRIDAY!!  Really?  How can anyone think she is "ready" to go home?   Seems that my mom informed the case manager that she couldn't go home on Friday because I am out of town this weekend- which is true.  But so much remains to be figured out.  Nobody at the hospital has contacted us to discuss "options" and give us ideas of what the next step should be.   I gave the case manager a piece of my mind.  I feel bad for her because she is covering for the vacationing case manager- but really if you're going to call the family, you should know your case before going to discuss it over the phone.

She said that the "release orders" involve visits at home by a home nurse, physical therapist and occupational therapist to continue working with her at home and to change her wound bandages.   And they also advise that she will need 8+ hours of home care assistance.  To me this means she needs to stay in skilled nursing- really?  How do facilities operate like this?     I inquired for more specifics on what type of "assistance"- the reply I got, "shopping, cleaning, cooking, bathing, laundry, etc."- so I then said, "ok, so if she stays with me for awhile where I shop, cook, do laundry, etc." what assistance is needed then?  She sort of fumbles on the phone and then says "Supervision" and says that she really needs to speak to the therapists to see what they think.  After I expressed a huge concern that they were releasing her too early, she suggested that perhaps they set up a Family Care Conference with the Doctor, Therapists, Case Manager & Social Worker, which I said I'd love, something that should have happened a long time ago.  She is trying to schedule that for Monday or Tuesday of next week.  I asked her how that impacts mom's discharge date and she said that they would  not discharge her until there is a plan in place, but then she said she had to talk to the Medical Group to see if they would authorize the additional days.  I suggested that she sees if the PT may recant and say they need another week to work with her, basically I told her to "play the game" and "make it work".   In the meantime, she is going to have someone contact me to discuss the options with care facilities for short term and other long term solutions.  Much will depend upon how mom continues to heal.

Afterwards, I spoke to my mom and she seemed pretty disgusted that they wanted to get rid of her.  She definitely wants to be out of that place- but is very fearful that she's not ready and truth be told, she is not ready- she has climbed a total of 5 stairs in PT, she has 13 at home- we have 15 at our house if she comes to stay with us for a bit.   I told her that I am working on options and that she is not to "sign" anything because if the medical group doesn't approve, then I'd assume she would be on the hook for the cost of the additional nights.  Really puts families between a rock & a hard place.

So our options- really limited I think because everything is so expensive.  I don't think she can go back home not without 24/7 care.  I don't think she can be home alone yet.  So if living with us helps to alleviate some of the needs/financial burden then so be it.  However, that being said- I know that I can't take care of her 24/7 on my own (meaning Bill & I).  I did a lot last year with her hospital ordeal and it took a huge toll on me and I'm not trying to make this sound like it's about me because it's not, but the long and the short of it is that I don't think I can provide all the care that she is going to need.  It's just a matter of figuring out how much help I would need and the costs involved with that so that I do have some "me" time and don't get too overwhelmed.   I don't know, last year I had no doubts that I could provide the care needed- but it was a very different situation.  Even though she came home from the hospital incredibly weak and we had to help her up/down the stairs, it was a quick bounce back considering.   That was one week, this time she has been out of commission for over a month- that takes a huge toll.   Last year it was just about rebuilding strength, this year it's dealing with continued pain in her legs, healing wounds, issues with breathing and certainly having to use Oxygen for awhile - all while still trying to get back to "normal" .  So far the stomach/potty issues seem to be in control- but she said today that she plans to wear diapers for awhile- I'm not sure I'm prepared to deal with that.   She has not been an incontinent person, but this experience in the hospital with very delayed response times from the nursing staff had made her dependent upon diapers.

So overall, I am very conflicted right now, really not sure what is the right answer for all of us concerned.  There are no answers at this point, yet we are going to be forced to make a decision in less than a week - which means we need to investigate the options before then, which means the rest of my week is going to be consumed with this research vs. catching up on the incredibly long list of travel research requests that I have right now.  Overwhelmed doesn't even begin to describe how I am feeling.

I am happy to be going away this weekend for the Reno Dance train- this may be the last of dancing that we'll be doing for a long time - might have to start having a dance party in the garage.  I am feeling the stress in my back/neck and have not been to the chiropractor in a few weeks- I really need to get adjusted.  I am also eating terribly lately and can feel the weight coming on.  It doesn't help that this has been another one of those non-period periods!   Yep, still skipping a month on that stuff and when I skip a month I seem to bloat continually...sigh- womanhood- oh joy!

So stack of working staring at me, have not touched any of it tonight as planned...getting tired and should just get to bed and try to get up early to attack the work.  Going to be a fedex hostage tomorrow waiting for the Giants Season Tickets to be delivered- signature required.  The time the package arrives will dictate if I get to go walking tomorrow and if I get to go visit mom.