So I am back from a whirlwind trip to Disneyland with Diane, Brynn & Nolan. We had a really good time, it was fun experiencing the parks once again with small children! We went on many rides and got to see the new World of Color show, which I had not seen yet - all in all a great time away, but an exhausting time away! Brynn tried everything and love everything. Nolan was apprehensive to try everything, most things once he went on them he decided he loved them, but the "fear of the dark/unknown" was a tough battle the entire trip. He definitely can do without Tower of Terror & Indiana Jones!
I called my mom every morning to check in, Sunday after I spoke to her I had my doubts that I had made the right decision in going away, she sounded very depressed and was talking the "I'm ready to die" talk. Of course, after I hung up I broke down in tears and was instantly consoled by Diane & the kids. In fact, Brynn automatically wrapped her arms around me and said, "It's ok Auntie Pammy, we had to go through the same thing with my Grandma." I was touched and proud of her maturity at that instant. We then found my happy face and proceeded to go have fun, although thoughts of my mother were never far out of my mind. Monday morning she sounded better and Tuesday morning she sounded like her old self again and was very talkative. I had heard from my sister that she told her not to come visit because "she was going to be around a bit longer" and then said she was going to fight to get better.
We got home last night and I didn't stay up too late, but still got up early enough to tend to a few work emails before heading up to SF to visit and also meet with her Drs. We had a nice visit and she was excited to see some of my Disneyland pictures and hear about the trip. The Drs. came and explained the prognosis & next steps. They were planning (& probably already have) to move her to skilled nursing today where she can have Physical Therapy and additional wound treatment. They anticipate a few weeks at the facility and they will re-evaluate in about 10 days to see her progress and determine once again where they think she will end up. They did say today that medically, they doubt she will be able to move back home and live by herself. So we will be faced with looking at options and seeing what is the best scenario. Of course, I would prefer that she move to Woodside Terrace so that she is closer and also so that she is in a facility that provides a lot of Independence, but also has the assistance when needed. So we are trying to get her to consider the possibility and think over the next steps. Really trying to emphasize that a move like that could improve her quality of life to even better than before the hospital. One day at a time..for her and for me.
I was able to get some work done today, but not even close to being caught up. I am very exhausted and starting to feel run down. I am going to really try to get to bed EARLY tonight, I need to get a full night's rest and hopefully wake up tomorrow feeling refreshed. I keep hearing my friend Julie in the back of my head, "I had to learn to say 'no' and not over extend myself". I am starting to feel the over extension. I am also starting to get a little anxious that time is flying by so quickly. Today is the mid-way point of February, it's scary! Hard to believe this time last year we had just gotten off a cruise and were excitedly planning for our first trip to Paris! Feels like such a long time ago!
Well, the agenda for the rest of the evening - fold laundry from last week, unpack & then settle on the couch with the hubs with a little work & wine. We'll see how much work gets done! The way I feel, not even sure the laundry will get done.
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