Long overdue, but it's time once again to start taking care of me. I had a really fun day with my mom today, took her out shopping. We found a chair at Hoot Judkins for her dining table- one with arms so that getting out of it is easier for her. Then we went to Kohl's to look for new chair pads (maybe) but found that they didn't carry them, but mom felt cheated since that was the purpose of our trip and insisted that we still "shop"...she wasn't sure what, but she wanted to buy something. So she ended up with 4 sweaters (like she needs any to add to the 50+ that she already has) a new kitchen towel and two bathroom washcloths. LOL. Well, of course I started "shopping"- I did pick up the bra that I intended on buying, but then came home with potentially 4 very cute "holiday" appropriate sparkly tops. I am keeping 2 for sure, returning 1 for sure an might gift the other. I may be inclined to buy another color of one of the ones I'm keeping, we'll see. After Kohl's we went to Safeway and then finally back to mom's apartment with all the goods to unpack.
I was able to load up her walker to get everything up to her apartment, I carried the new chair. Got everything unpacked, put away and then got her meds updated for the week in the little "days of the week" containers. We sat and relaxed for a bit and then I had to get back to work and also had my own groceries to unload.
All day long, my back had been bothering me. In fact, it was bothering me for the last two days and I can only guess that I either tweaked it doing God knows what or my Monday adjustment just didn't cut it for me. My adjustment was by Dr. John and I usually go to Dr Matteo and while they are both excellent chiropractors- my body is just used to Dr. Matteo. I may need to go see him tomorrow to get me back in gear. But that also got me to thinking about the extra weight I've been carrying around for months. I'm not proud, but I've gained back almost all of the 30 pounds that I lost last year. Without a doubt, I have been pre-occupied taking care of others and living a less than ideal lifestyle for losing weight. Eating on the run, not getting in any workouts outside of the 3 classes I teach, attacking any and all sweets that find their way into the house and yes I help some of them into the house as well. Much of it = stress eating. I am a stress eater, always have been and probably always will be, but ever since I initially lost all my "unhappy" weight back in 1999-2000, even if I stress ate, I was working out like a crazy woman so it did not impact my overall appearance.
However, I am not 35 anymore and the 40's are not kind to women going through "the change". I can't tell you how much I HATE when my mom tries to be nice and tells me "you're going through the change" - I know that I am, but I am also in denial that it will impact me in horrible weight ways. I know that she is just trying to be supportive and nice and give me an explanation. Oye.
I love chocolate, I love wine, I love pastas, I love sweets (cookies, cakes, donuts - you name it)...so any weight loss plan is very hard and challenging for me. But I have been successful in the past, so I know with the right set of circumstances, I CAN do this again. I just have to get over myself and realize that I do have to do this again. I need to work out. I'm not even going to say I need to increase my workouts-- I'm not working out. I am teaching 3 classes a week, this does not equal working out. Yes, I get a workout and damn Tuesday night I thought I was going to die. Today I took the first step. I saw a Facebook post by a fitness colleague who was teaching RPM tonight at the Y. Well, for the first time I was actually available on a Thursday and decided to go take her class. I can't even tell you the last time I've taken a class. RPM kicked my butt, I was so winded at the end that I thought I was going to barf. I worked out so much harder than I do when I teach. With the intensity with which I was working tonight, I couldn't talk. It felt good to be a student, to get in the zone, to not care about the other people in class, to engage one on one with the instructor with body language and facial gestures and not be the one who "matters". I mean instructors matter- but I wasn't in the spot light, I could just enjoy getting my workout on.
So here is the plan. I am going to get in 3-4 workouts per week, starting now. I'm going to start going to Angie's Zumba class on Fridays and Mondays. I think I'm going to try to get to Rosa's RPM regularly on Thursays, but may also try to get to Darlene's Spin at the OFJCC on Mondays and/or Fridays. I need to find some yoga classes that fit my schedule. I'd love to go take BodyFlow, but it's not offered at any of the gyms where I teach (aka - have access). Not sure if I can get into classes as an instructor guest, but will try. (Hint, Hint- if you are a BodyFlow instructor reading this blog, let me know if you can get me into your class). AND long overdue, but it's time to get back to dancing! My foot has not been bothering me at all lately, so perhaps it is heeled. There is only one way to find out - I need to dance, dance, dance! I am going to reduce my intake of my beloved foods. I can't cut them out completely and it would be sabotage to say "NO" wine, chocolate, sweets, etc. Hell, the holidays are here and I don't want to be deprived, but I will exercise "moderation".
Timeline of my goals. Goal #1 - lose 5 pounds by the end of the year. I'd love 10, but trying to keep it real, we have birthdays, parties, holidays.. OH MY! Goal #2 - lose another 5-10 pounds by Maui which is January 23rd. I would prefer to look at whales in the ocean on a boat vs. looking into the mirror and feeling like a whale! Goal #3 - A total loss of 15-20 pounds by March 21st- I just signed up for the Les Mills Super Quarterly in Vegas. A weekend of fitness bliss and I want to feel comfortable in my skin, I will be meeting some instructors who I am only friends with via Facebook and will be side by side with instructors from my area who I rarely see and I don't want to be the "fat instructor"- screw my Doctor and her comment last year that I will always be a "fit person with weight struggles" - I am determined to be the person I was 8 years ago when I met Bill. I was fit, I was skinny (size 6) and I had abs...YES, I did! I still do, but they are hibernating. :-0 So it is time, I'm ready to find that person that I once was. Things are much better with mom now, she is back to being at her apartment and although there are Doctor visits to tend to, it's just much easier having her "out" of institutions.
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