I don't think I know how not to have a wild & crazy life. Lots of exciting things going on right now, I'm a bit overwhelmed when I stop to think about it and I'm a bit frightened for next week. Waaaaaay too much going on!
First and foremost, mom has been moved to Skilled Nursing in Palo Alto. The move went smoothly, the hospital had a wheelchair van transport her which made that a bit easier on me and I met her once she was settled. This was Wednesday. Yesterday, I wanted to go visit her, but realized that it just was not going to happen with timing and leaving early for the 49er game. I felt guilty at first but then my brother told me not to feel guilty that I needed a break and that I can't be there every single day. Well, I am an over-achiever, so it is hard for me to not push! I spoke to my mom and she seemed to understand and didn't want me to push the clock, but I could tell that she was a bit disappointed that I was not coming by. Today she left me a voice message asking for me to bring a few things and at the end of her message, "I'm looking forward to seeing you". Warmed my heart yet at the same time broke it because yes I felt guilty for missing a day. Sigh. I had a nice visit with her today, but also frustrating too. There are still incontinence issues, even though the C-diff symptoms are cleared up mostly and that is really my biggest fear. Would if she does not overcome this issue- that lifestyle would be a fate worse than death for her. I am hopeful that it is just a by-product of the C-diff and that with the medication and resuming a substantial food diet, things will auto-correct. I'm guessing she will be at this place for a minimum of two weeks. The case worker set up an appointment with me for next Wednesday to discuss her treatment and desired discharge outcome. She is definitely having trouble hearing, although she denies it and maybe it's just selective hearing and/or she tunes out at times. This did also happen when she was at the hospital in the city.
Today mom was upset wondering why this was all happening to her and wondering where she went wrong, what mistakes she's made to have deserved this. I told her that the only mistake she made was smoking. We had a long talk about that and I think it hit home. I hope it did. Whatever we discussed stuck with her because tonight I got a phone call from her before the Giants game saying, "I'm so sorry for disappointing you, you're very special to me and I don't want to disappoint you, etc." Again, heart-breaking. I told her that she didn't disappoint me and that I loved her, she is my mother and my best friend and that she needed to get well again so that we can do fun things again soon. When we finally hung up the phone, she seemed to be in a better mood.
Giants game tonight was OFF THE HOOK! And they live to play another game...it's one game at a time right now and they pulled through tonight. It was awesome, it was magical and I'm really feeling the magic of 2010! Mom called when the game was over and she was excited that they had won also. It was a great game! I love that she is so into the Giants too!
This weekend is a bit wild and crazy. What was going to be a free afternoon is now completely scheduled with a visit to mom after Body Pump, then home to shower and head up to the tile store to go over things with Bill and make final decisions. Then meeting up with the Semkes for a belated Jocelyn birthday celebration. Sunday- church, visit mom, baby shower for Katy and then heading up to ATT Park for the playoff game! I had planned on getting work done this weekend, but have no clue now when that will be.
Looking ahead to the week coming. It's a 4 day work week since we leave Friday morning for CT for cousin Jamie & Jacqui's wedding. Super excited for that weekend in CT to see my cousins and Aunts & Uncles. Going to stay with my cousin Jeannie and her 3 boys, it will be fun but not long enough of course! The upcoming week has the potential to attend 1-2 World Series games once the Giants win the NLCS. Work, meetings, visits to mom, classes at the gym, clean out bathroom so that it's ready for demo while we're gone. Breathe- I must breathe. Yikes! Then the fun when we return and don't have our Master Bathroom to use..hoping all goes smoothly.
Well, sleep is a must otherwise I'm going to get sick. 5 days up at 5am and I'm pooped! I need my sleep for strength to get through this craziness!!!
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