Memories of my mom - Patricia Maureen Harper 5/23/29 - 1/12/14
My mother was a wonderful woman. She was strong, loving & would do anything
for her kids and grandkids. She would
listen to us, offer advice if we asked for it, lend support in any way she was
capable of lending, she cried with us, she laughed with us and if we were hurt
she was hurt, if we were happy she was happy.
She was our biggest fan, our number one cheerleader and supporter. My mom was in every definition what a mother
is supposed to be. I was also lucky to call her my best friend. She loved to garden, cruise, play bingo,
gamble & listen to the Giants games on her transistor radio. She loved music and dancing - in fact one
could hear her music playing down the hallway at Woodside Terrace (she never
did get that hearing aid that she never really wanted to get). And as for dancing, we have several pictures
of her and her signature dance move! She loved to help people; she had a HUGE heart
and was so very giving. She was silly, goofy
and got a kick out of herself- often.
She loved her collections and in her lifetime she collected a lot of
things: thimbles, plates, spoons, dolls,
teddy bears, music boxes, jewelry, decorations and anything butterfly...and yes
many times she was over the top with her collections. But she loved them, they
made her happy. She also had a
collection of singing/dancing holiday stuffed animals and she would just light
up when she would play them. Of course
she had to share that joy with others, so she would bring these with her to her
senior clubs, bingo sessions, coffee shops, and she loved to see other people
loving these little entertainers.
She was
always aware of her appearance and took great pride in looking good. It bothered her when she would see others who
seemed to not care about their appearance.
Even in the ER the day before she passed, she asked if her hair looked
OK and if she still had on lipstick. The
last thing I did for my mom before she passed the next day- I straightened her
bangs and put on her lipstick. And although she couldn't speak, I think she knew
and appreciated this gesture. She went
to heaven with snowmen on her thumbnails- she recently discovered nail art and
looked forward to her manicures every other month to get a new nail design.
My mom was a fighter and a survivor. When I look back at these last few years, the
years when she battled one health crisis after another and some were more like
wars quite honestly- her little body kept fighting even when she had made peace
and was really ready to die. I reminded
her often that it was not up to her and that it just was not her time to
go. I am
just so very thankful that this time, God decided he was ready for her because
the Cancer war would not have been an easy or fair battle for her to
fight. At the end of the day, we really
do have a kind and loving God.
I miss her terribly; we would talk on the phone
every day and see each other several times a week. It's a great loss. That being said, she is
with me every single day and I can honestly say that every day since she has
passed, she has spoken to me in one way or another. I just don’t have to pick up the phone and
dial 7 digits; I can just talk to her whenever and wherever. She & I had an
incredible bond as both mother/daughter and best friends. I know this is rare and I am very lucky. At one point during her medical battles, she
was in tears and feared that going through all of her medical issues with her
would ruin our friendship, quite the contrary.
It was an honor and a privilege to be able to be her cheerleader, her
supporter and help her like she had done all her life for me.
I have been told and will happily admit that I am
very much like my mom. She & I have
the same kind of silliness, goofiness & sense of humor. That’s a gift that I get to keep with me
always. And while I have a lifetime of
memories with my mom, I'd like to share some of my most special ones: anytime we traveled together and we did
travel often after my dad passed away, but I most remember our first cruise
together - a first for both of us in 1990 and we laughed so much because it was
such a rocky ride up the coast to Vancouver.
We both fell in love with cruising on that trip & mom was so excited
to meet the Captain.
We had numerous weekend visits when she would
come down to stay with Bill & I and it didn't matter what we did together,
we just enjoyed being together laughing, taking naps, going to movies, playing
bingo. I especially loved our Christmas
Eve tradition, my mom would do the prep work for the Turkey (breaking the
bread) and I would cook the Turkey, reverse roles from when I used to do the
same for her when I was growing up. We'd
do our little gift exchange with her and then watch "White Christmas"
together while sipping Bailey's Coffees.
She would always say that we spoiled her too much, but we were happy to
do that, it was fun to watch her open her gifts and get excited about
them. We'd all go to bed late and then on Christmas Day, I'd be the one up
early getting the bird into the oven and making Cinnamon Rolls & Coffee for
breakfast.
More recently, this past
Christmas, I helped her decorate her apartment and she was just so excited to
have all of her decorations out. It was
fun doing that together, while listening to Christmas Music and sipping on our
Starbucks. We had not decorated for the
holidays together since I lived with her over 20 years ago. She had the reputation at Woodside Terrace
for having the most decorated doorway - always, holiday or not! Her doorway brought joy to all who passed by. It was a blessing to know that in her very
short time at Woodside Terrace, she had made her mark and people loved her
there as well.
We had many Tahoe vacations as a family starting
in my late teens and I'd like to share one year that involved a Kool & the
Gang concert and Long Island Iced Teas.
It was "Ladies Night" for sure and "oh what a night"
it was. The Place: Harrah's Showroom, The Players:
My Sister, mom, Aunt Kitty,
Cousin Jeanne, friend Deanna and myself. Two drink minimum, the waitress starts to
take our orders - Deanna, my sister
& I start off and order Long Island
Iced Teas, my Aunt orders a Pina Colada
and Jeanne orders one as well (although
they brought her a Virgin one without asking for her ID and yes she wasn't 21,
but she gets an A for effort) and then the waitress gets to my mom. Mom asks, "what did they order?"
and points to my sister and I, we tell her and she says "I'll have that". My sister and I just smiled at each other
knowing that this could become an interesting night. The concert begins and of course mom's
favorite song comes on, "Celebration"- her signature song and she
bolts out of the booth and heads down to the stage to presumably dance with the
band, she had a blast and we of course all enjoyed watching her. The concert comes to an end, we are waiting
for our pictures to purchase and mom needed to use the rest room, so we said
we'd meet her out in the casino. Well we
couldn't find her anywhere, we found my dad and Uncle and they had not seen
her. We headed back to our cabin at the Hacienda and there was mom in her bed
fast asleep. Seems two Long Island Iced
Teas were more than she expected. The
next morning, the first words out of her mouth, "What was in that
drink?" Needless to say, she never
had one of those again.
I mentioned that she liked to gamble, well she
loved her lottery scratchers and would usually budget to buy her weekly
allotment, and she was very lucky with them.
In fact, she was always so lucky with them that if I was with her when
she bought tickets, I'd buy some for myself and I did not share her same
luck..at all. It was so frustrating to
me. While cleaning out her apartment, I
found about $35 worth of tickets that she had not turned in yet, so I decided
to reinvest them for her and had a good run for about 5 weeks- her luck finally
ran out this past week. But of course, I
had not learned my lesson and all these weeks while reinvesting for her, I'd
get a few for myself and would not do nearly as well as her tickets
were...until this week. Low &
behold, I bought two tickets, one $5 and one $3 and scratched it on Friday
night and it was a $1000 winner. Like I
said, she is with me every single day and as excited as I got about the winning
ticket, I believe that she was probably even more excited for me.
I'd like to close with two poems that I found
that I think are very fitting:
Thank You Mother
© Nicole J. Heath
Thank you mother- for all that you have done,
You took great care, of your daughters and sons.
You loved us all from the very start,
with your warm, kind, and loving heart.
Thank you mother, for being strong,
While trying to teach us right from wrong.
If anytime, we had a problem,
you were there to help us solve them.
You'd lift us up, when we were feeling blue,
Thank you mother, for we could always count on you.
You were such- an awesome mother,
The love you showed was like no other.
Thank you mother- for your dear, sweet love,
Now you'll watch over us from heaven above.
You took great care, of your daughters and sons.
You loved us all from the very start,
with your warm, kind, and loving heart.
Thank you mother, for being strong,
While trying to teach us right from wrong.
If anytime, we had a problem,
you were there to help us solve them.
You'd lift us up, when we were feeling blue,
Thank you mother, for we could always count on you.
You were such- an awesome mother,
The love you showed was like no other.
Thank you mother- for your dear, sweet love,
Now you'll watch over us from heaven above.
Source: Thank You Mother, Mother Death Poem http://www.familyfriendpoems.com/poem/thank-you-mother#ixzz2sWcLOfr2
Family Friend Poems
A Daughter's Promise
© Allie B. Quaglieri
Every time that I smile,
Every time that I sigh,
I think of your face,
And a tear escapes my eye.
You were my world,
My inspiration and my heart,
But when you left me,
I thought I would fall apart.
You were my best friend,
My one true 'confidante',
And that's not all you were,
You were also my mom.
I didn't want to live without you,
But you would have wanted me to,
And if there's anyone I want to make happy,
That anyone is you
I would have given anything to have you back,
But I know now that it was meant to be,
For you are still watching from up there,
And I know you're watching me.
I'll make you proud mom,
I'm going to fulfill your wish,
You're going to see me and smile,
That's a daughter's promise.
Every time that I sigh,
I think of your face,
And a tear escapes my eye.
You were my world,
My inspiration and my heart,
But when you left me,
I thought I would fall apart.
You were my best friend,
My one true 'confidante',
And that's not all you were,
You were also my mom.
I didn't want to live without you,
But you would have wanted me to,
And if there's anyone I want to make happy,
That anyone is you
I would have given anything to have you back,
But I know now that it was meant to be,
For you are still watching from up there,
And I know you're watching me.
I'll make you proud mom,
I'm going to fulfill your wish,
You're going to see me and smile,
That's a daughter's promise.
Source: Poem From Daughter To Departed Mother, A Daughter's Promise http://www.familyfriendpoems.com/poem/a-daughters-promise#ixzz2sWbvUuUG
Family Friend Poems
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