Time for a new post - long overdue!
Let's talk about friendship. I've made a lot of observations over the last year. In truth, I've probably been making these observations for a long time, but last year I had more free time on my hands and could focus and analyze my observations in greater detail.
I have friends from all areas of my life. I have my childhood friends and even though we don't always see eye to eye, we have a very deep rooted bond. We don't get to see each other as often as we'd like, but we are still very connected with group chats during the week, every week. We were on a roll of getting together more often before the pandemic and we always have a good time. These ladies are solid. We all have our shortcomings but we know them and we love each other regardless.
I made a few friends in High School, but nothing that withstood the test of time. I went to H.S. with a fairly good size group of friends from Grammar School which just strengthened those bonds. I also kept in touch with two friends from Grammar School who moved out of the area and attended other High Schools. I saw both of them very often and I am still in touch with them. In fact tomorrow we are attending the baby shower for the daughter of one of these friends. Hoping to attend her daughter's wedding in a couple weeks if our Reno responsibilities don't conflict. These are the times you look forward to when you have lifelong friends, seeing them raise a family, watching their children grow up, get married, have babies. Because of Facebook and my key role in planning our High School reunions, I have become friendlier with a few of my H.S. classmates over the last 15 years, but I have been reminded of why I didn't pursue many of the friendships in H.S.to begin with, teen women can be mean and sometimes they don't grow out of that catty, backstabbing behavior. I've never been the "clique" type, I've always had the "more the merrier" mentality when it came to my friendships and always took joy in co-mingling my inner circle of friends. I don't seem to get that same respect in return.
I have made several friends in my "adult life"- starting in college to the present. Some friendships I expected to last a lifetime and sadly that was not meant to be. I put great value on my friendships, so when something goes wrong, I try to fix it, I try to make it right again even if I was not the one to do the wrong. Sometimes a heart-felt apology or lack thereof can make or break a friendship. I know I apologized and extended some grace, but true colors were revealed.
Other friends, we can go months or years without seeing each other and then pick right back up where we left off. I know that we all get busy with life and everything else, but I've noticed that some people are way too caught up in their own lives and their own self-importance to pay attention to how they are treating others. At least, I hope that they are not aware of how they treat others and how unimportant they can make others feel. There I go again, giving people the benefit of the doubt.
2020 was rough and I had a lot of time on my hands and I used that time to check in on my friends. I picked up the phone and called, had long conversations like we used to when we didn't have any cares in the world. I started weekly Zoom Happy Hours with three different groups of friends to help us all get through the pandemic together. Over a year later and we're still meeting up over zoom weekly to catch up, in many ways the pandemic has helped to strengthen some friendships that might not have had that chance in the real crazy life! These are my kind of people, I appreciate them more than they know. I do need to tell them.
With our upcoming move to Reno this year, I've stopped to reflect even more about friendships. Who will miss us? Who will come to visit us? Who will be eager to make time to see us when we visit the Bay Area? I guess time will tell. (I do know that my brother is going to miss us something awful & we are going to miss him too). But I do know that I am not going to continue to water dead plants. When people lie and keep secrets from you, those are not true friends. Time to stop being so damn nice. I'm also done with narcissists and gaslighters. Also, my reunion planning days are over. It's a lot of work and though I know it is appreciated, I really don't get to enjoy the party because I'm too busy with everything and when I do have time to enjoy, I'm with my core friend group anyway. I don't need a H.S. reunion to see them. Time to pass the torch!
I am looking forward to the new friendships that will be made in Reno, in fact we have already begun to meet people and have been super impressed with how friendly everyone has been. When you think about it, most people are transplanting to Reno from some other place, some do have family or other friends in the area but most are starting fresh. I am really looking forward to this new chapter in our lives. I think it's going to be fun and a great new adventure.
At the end of the day, Bill truly is my best friend and I am so blessed to have him and thankful that we share so much in common. Looking forward to life getting back to normal, finding our new dance hangouts--which I already think we've determined to be Pure Country Canteen and GSR, we will make new dance friends. There is so much going on at our Clubhouse, we will have the opportunity to meet plenty of new people. Looking forward to getting back to traveling again, too! 2021 is the year of change, 2022 is the year that things start to feel more like 2019!
No comments:
Post a Comment