Random Thoughts on Covid-19

It's been a rough beginning to 2020.    Aside from the immediate and direct impact from Covid-19 to my business, my livelihood, I find myself in very uncomfortable territory regarding the entire situation.

My job is to sell travel dreams.  My job is to help people explore the world, meet new people, new cultures, explore new beaches, new ships, etc.  Even though some destinations are starting to re-open to tourism, I find that I just can't promote travel just yet.  Part of me wants to get up and get out of town, take a vacation even if it's just a road trip in CA & part of me says "stay home, it's the right thing to do", then devil's advocate says, "but your husband has been going to work every day this year, he needs a vacation.  A stay-cation won't do because he will still get on the computer."  Part of me wants to get on the next plane to Mexico because I have several colleagues who have been in the last few weeks and have talked about how wonderful it was & then part of me just wants to curl up in a ball & wake up when this is all over.

Aside from not being able to travel or to sell travel, I miss our life.  I miss going dancing, I miss going to sporting events, I miss just deciding to go out to brunch or dinner, I miss getting together with friends on a whim.  I am a planner by nature, but the planning required around Covid-19 is a whole other game.

I hate being conflicted.  I have strong feelings, but then they change on any given day.   I know that this virus is very real, I don't doubt that it's contagious and that it can be deadly.   I also believe that we are being played to some degree.  I don't think the numbers are being reported accurately.  I've heard too many stories & read too many articles that cast that shadow of doubt.    I think it's bad, but not as bad as the numbers portray.  I do believe a large part of what is being reported is politically motivated.

I hate the mask as much as the next person.  But I'd rather wear one when required & find out months from now that it was not necessary vs. not wearing one now and being dead in 3 months or infecting a loved one who dies or has serious health issues from being sick.  I do not think wearing a mask makes me a sheep, I do not think wearing a mask makes me a liberal & I don't think wearing a mask says that I live in fear.  I believe wearing a mask means that I err on the side of caution, it means that I want to protect you just in case I am a silent carrier of this virus, I would hope that you want to protect me.  Sadly, that's not the case in our "ME" society.   I'm saddened by the level of selfishness that our nation has become.   I do not believe that wearing a mask is a 100% way to prevent Covid-19, but they can reduce the spread of the virus, they can slow the spread of the virus.

I hate that some people simply do not get it.   The people who think it's OK to co-mingle with multiple households every weekend, have gatherings, have parties, disrespect social distancing guidelines and wearing masks in close social situations.  Just because your gathering is outside does not mean you don't have to keep 6 feet apart or wear a mask.   I feel that these people are part of the problem.  I fear for some of my friends & loved ones who I see disrespecting these guidelines & pray that they don't inadvertently infect their loved ones or get sick themselves.

Do I think we should SIP indefinitely?  No.  I support the re-opening of our economy.  That being said, there are too many people who think because the economy is opening up, it means that precautions do not need to be taken.  I've seen tons of social media posts of people at bars, boating parties on the lakes, NO social distancing, NO masks, taking group photos with friends who clearly are not living in the same household.  It's the actions of these people who are causing several of our counties to dial it back a bit and close some businesses again.  This is not fair to those of us who have been staying at home, not seeing our friends, pretty much not going anywhere outside of essential and if we have it's been with the required protocols.  My business will be one of the last to recover & the fact that I have to reply upon others to "do the right thing" so that my business can get back to planning trips is very upsetting because our society has forgotten how to do the right thing.

Bill goes to work every day.  He's had 2 possible Covid scares at work in the last 5 months.  He did have to get tested & fortunately, tested negative as have everyone else at work.  He goes shopping during the week at Costco and/or Trader Joe's since the stores near his work are very low key, no lines, etc.  We both visit the chiropractor and go shopping on Fridays.  We have gotten our hair done since the salons have re-opened & I've gotten my nails done.  Both salons exercising all the required precautions, all of us wearing masks, etc.  Other than that, we've attended one social distanced line dance parking lot party that was perfect, I've had a socially distanced picnic lunch with my sister & we had one evening gathering with our best friends in their backyard mostly socially distanced.  It's hard to say "no" to your 10 year old Goddaughter when she asks if she can give you a hug.  It's also very awkward that we even have to have that conversation & ask permission to hug someone when you would have naturally done so to begin with.

We have dined outside 4 times & felt that every precaution was taken and we felt safe.  We also spent one night at a hotel on the coast for our Anniversary and felt very safe there as well.  I firmly believe that we can't stay locked up forever or until there is a vaccine.  We have to live our lives to some degree, but I still remain guarded.

It all makes me very sad, depressed & at a loss for words. Some days are better than others.  I wake up and wonder "what is going to happen today?", Sometimes I am happy to be home alone & escape to the patio, take in the sunshine and pretend that I'm on vacation somewhere.   I'm not sure what I'm going to do when fall & winter roll around and I don't have that escape.  Maybe then I will finally bite the dust and plan that vacation.